I Care About My Loved Ones More Than I Care About Myself

alexis finnegan

Hello loves, ❤

I care about my loved ones more than I care about myself. I will not bat a single eyelash if you insult me, if you treat me like I am lesser, if you put me through hell — but if I find out you have been even slightly rude to someone I care about, I am going to make you regret that decision. I am going to hold an everlasting grudge against you. I am going to expect an apology, but even that will not be enough to satisfy my bloodlust.

I can handle heartache. But if you break the heart of someone I hold dear, then you are dead to me.

I care about my loved ones more than I care about myself. I will do anything for them. I will splurge on surprises for them, but I will feel bad about buying anything expensive for myself. I will encourage them to visit the doctor when they feel under the weather, but I will procrastinate when it comes to getting checkups myself. I don’t take care of my body as much as I should. I don’t care about myself the way I should.

I put all of my love into other people.

I will never choose the restaurant I want to visit or the music I want to play. I choose what I think will make the people around me the most excited. I put their wants before my own. Making them happy makes me happy.

I have trouble convincing myself that I deserve kindness and respect, but I know damn well what my loved ones deserve. They deserve to feel safe. Supported. Inspired. Loved. They deserve the world.

If you are someone I care about, then I am going to make you a priority. I am going to help you whenever you call out for me. I am going to be there no matter what. I will never let you down.

I care about my loved ones more than I care about myself. I would go miles out of my way for them. I would sacrifice my happiness for them. I would make myself miserable for them.

My soft heart has caused me to get taken advantage of in the past. I have given others love they never deserved. I have put in effort for people who refused to meet me halfway. I have been used. I have had my heart shattered.

Some people say I am too nice, but I cannot help myself. I have trouble spoiling myself, but it’s so easy to spoil other people. It’s so easy to make them the first and last thoughts of my day. I am a people pleaser. I am not comfortable unless everyone else in the room is comfortable first.

I care about my loved ones more than I care about myself — and I know that is my biggest strength and my biggest weakness. It is what brings me the most joy and the most stress.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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When You’re Ready To Live A Better Life, But Your Anxiety Isn’t

When You_re Ready To Live A Better Life, But Your Anxiety Isn_t

Hello loves, ❤

Anxiety is something that is always evolving, growing, and changing. It has a mind of its own that doesn’t really care about how happy or content you are in life. Anxiety quite frankly, couldn’t care less about your well-being.

You see, anxiety doesn’t really give a crap about you. Anxiety just wants you to fret, to worry, to sink further into its dark waters and to watch you drown there.

Anxiety wants you to get so caught up in its echoes and whispers and lies, that you can’t even remember a time where anxiety wasn’t in your life. 

Anxiety doesn’t adapt well to change or to life altering moments. Anxiety doesn’t care if you are excited about moving to another state, or if you finally got an amazing promotion. Anxiety doesn’t care about your accomplishments, because all it does is focus on your failures.

And as soon as good news hits you, anxiety comes along and tries to ruin it for you.

It doesn’t matter if you just got the man of your dreams, the job of your dreams, or the life of your dreams. It doesn’t matter.

Anxiety is going to sneak into your mind and tell you that you’re going to mess up. Anxiety is going to talk to you at night, telling you that pretty soon, you won’t be so happy anymore. Anxiety is going to make it known that you are a failure. That you fail more than you succeed, and that you fall more than you climb.

So what happens when you want a better life for yourself? What happens when you finally want to move on from the past and start all over? What happens when you finally get what you have dreamed of? What happens then?

You can’t let anxiety drag you down no matter how hard it tries to push you with its ugly fists. You can’t let anxiety make your accomplishments and your beautiful moments into something that isn’t important. You can’t let anxiety tell you that you aren’t good enough.

Because you are good enough. You’re so much more than good enough.

I don’t know how to make my anxiety go away completely. I don’t know how to make yours go away completely. But I do know one thing – anxiety doesn’t have to define you. It doesn’t have to have so much weight on top of your shoulders. It doesn’t have to turn your world upside down.

So when something beautiful happens in your life, soak it all up. And when something wonderful is being brought into your life, hold onto it as hard as you can. And when your dreams finally start coming true and all that you have worked hard for is actually turning into something amazing, don’t let anxiety talk you out of it. Don’t let anxiety tell you that you don’t deserve this. Don’t let anxiety wear you out until you find everything you have worked so hard for slipping away.

Don’t let anxiety dictate how you see yourself. Don’t let it creep into the corners of your mind. And don’t you dare believe anything it says to you. Because one day, you’re going to have all that you want, and you’re going to have all that you need. Your dreams are going to turn into a reality for you, and you are going to be so, so, incredibly happy.

So when that happens to you, don’t let anxiety trash talk you into believing that you don’t deserve to flash that smile proudly around wherever you go. Don’t let anxiety turn your light off. No matter how hard it tries to suck your happiness out of you.

Don’t let it become the winner of your world. And don’t let it take away this life that is yours.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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