Being An Overthinker!

Being An Overthinker!

Hello loves,

If over thinking was a sport – I would get the GOLD MEDAL every time!

Overthinking isn’t just asking yourself if you left the back door open.

Overthinking can easily become an obsessive behavior, linked with anxiety, depression, and a handful of other mental illnesses. It’s subconscious, and for the most part, an overthinker doesn’t even realize they’re over thinking – it’s just how their mind works.

For overthinkers, one of the biggest struggles is explaining to people what you’re overthinking about or why you’re behaving the way you are. Because from the outside looking in, it might not be obvious.  

Here are some things people don’t realize you’re doing because you’re an overthinker:

1. Avoiding Conflict As Much As Possible

Overthinkers don’t like conflict. Not with themselves, not with the people around them, not anywhere. Conflict causes anxiety, it leads to questions, worries, concerns, fears… It makes overthinkers extremely uncomfortable because it gives them something to overthink about. So, if you’re wondering why someone shuts down the second a conflict arises, it might be because they’re an overthinker and it’s just too much. BUT THEN… Also, the questions & thoughts cause conflict.

2. Fidgeting

When your mind is racing with thoughts, sometimes your body tries to keep up. You feel like you need to move. This can lead to fidgeting, tapping, humming, hair twirling, and a bunch of other psychical manifestations. It’s one response to overthinking that can be seen from the outside in.

3. Asking Too Many Questions

It’s harder to overthink things when you know all the facts. That’s why overthinkers are constantly asking questions. Because if they know all the facts, there’s less to worry or think about.

4. Religiously Sticking to Plans

Overthinkers like to have a plan set out. In their head, they’re thinking about every aspect of this plan. Every detail needs to run through their brain so they can evaluate risks, reduce stress, and make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible. That’s why they tend to panic or get visibly upset when plans change. Try to understand this is hard for them.

5. Writing Things Down

Often times, writing things down is the only way to get things off their mind. Even if just for a little while. Overthinkers will make lists, mark things on calendars, and schedule out their days as best as they can. It’s on behavior that helps keep thoughts from taking over.

6. Apologizing, Constantly

I’m sorry for saying sorry so much, but it’s something overthinkers do on a regular basis. It’s because they worry, constantly, that someone might be upset, disappointed, angry, or annoyed, even if there’s no reason for it. And there’s no other logical thing for them to do but say sorry. They just want things to be better so they can stop thinking about it.

7. Overreacting To Nothing

Not all overthinkers overreact, but it’s a pretty common trend. It stems from insecurity, worry, and a desire for everything to be perfect. And when it’s not, there can be a bit of an explosion of emotion. We’re not doing it intentionally, it’s almost like a defense mechanism.

8. Obsessively Googling Things

Feeling sick? Stressing about the weather? Planning a trip? There’s a 100% chance you’re Googling everything about it until you’ve read every page on the Internet. Why? Because overthinkers need answers. They want reassurance that everything is fine, so they can stop obsessing over it and try to move on. The good news is, they’re usually experts on a number of illnesses or natural disasters.

9. Creeping Social Media Like The FBI

People who overthink constantly jump to the worst-case scenario. Logical thinking gets thrown to the wind. So if we need information to put our thoughts at ease, we’re turning to social media like a pro. This stems from insecurity or the idea that something is wrong, sometimes even FOMO (fear of missing out). Regardless, social media allows us to try and validate our thoughts, or put them to rest.

10. Always Looking for Hidden Messages

For the most part, people say what they mean. If they’re tired, they’ll let you know. But for an overthinker, everything has to be a cryptic message. If a text doesn’t have a happy face, they must be mad. If they don’t smile at you, they hate you. If you’re not invited, it’s because you’re a loser. Overthinkers will obsess over everything, trying to find the “true meaning” when in fact, there isn’t one.

11. Seeking Reassurance

Being an overthinker is hard. You’re constantly worried things are wrong. You fear you’re not good enough. It’s hard to decipher reality from imagination. This leads overthinkers to seek validation or reassurance. They need to be told things because they won’t assume them on their own. So if you love an overthinker, tell them! If you know someone is feeling insecure, offer them reassurance. It’s not hard to make them feel comfortable in their own head.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

DYH Signature

Through Those Hard Times

Hello loves, ❤

I know you’re having a hard day, or a hard month, or maybe even a hard year. And I know that sometimes it’s much easier to let your mind be consumed by the hard stuff than it is to focus on what is good in your life. But for two minutes, while you read this, I want you to try your absolute hardest to focus on the good. I want you to try to forget that you’re in a bad mood, and I want you to try to remember what it feels like to be okay again. I want you to clear your mind of everything that’s hard, everything that’s tolling, and focus on what is good or what one day could be good.

You might think that you are not able to feel good, or that you do not deserve to feel good. This is wrong. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been. It doesn’t even matter where you are going. What matters is that you don’t have to do anything at all to be worthy of goodness. You don’t have to earn goodness. You don’t have to be a certain way or look a certain way. I want you to realize that you are so valuable and so very loved and that feeling bad or low doesn’t negate how special you are.

I want you to know that you are going to be okay one day soon, and I want you to understand that feeling bad doesn’t make you a bad person. You don’t need to feel guilty for feeling bad. Sometimes when you are feeling your worse, the work happens. You grow and you blossom, and you realize what’s important in the world…and that’s what will lead you out of the darkness and into the light. When you are crying or being too hard on yourself, I want you to take a deep breath in and realize that you don’t have to bully yourself. You don’t have to make yourself feel bad. It’s okay to be gentle. It’s okay to forgive yourself and it’s okay to let yourself rest when you don’t know which direction to go. I want you to learn that you don’t have to do anything or earn anything to be worth a thousand stars. You are worth all of the stars in the sky by just being alive, by just being yourself.

And I know that you are focused on your mistakes and your letdowns. I know you are focused on what is lacking in your life rather than on what is abundant. But you have so much abundance. You live in so much abundance. You just have to see it. And that’s the battle; seeing it, believing it. But I promise, it’s there for you…it’s all out there waiting for you.

You deserve to live a life of abundance. A life abundant in love and compassion, and light and joy. Even if you are stuck in the darkness, I hope that you know that you are worth a million times more than your failures and mistakes. You made it through to today and for that you are courageous. It doesn’t matter if you fall down over and over again. You eventually will get back up, over and over again. And if you stay down for a while, look up at the stars rather than down in the darkness.

And I know you think that everybody else around you seems to be more successful or more loved. But it’s not true. Not even a little bit. We are all living our own stories. We are all writing and constructing our own plot lines. You can’t compare a sci-fi novel to a romance, so why compare your life to anyone else’s? Why compare your beauty to anyone else’s?

I want you to know that your story is yours for a reason. Your life is yours for a reason. And on the outside, on your story’s cover, you are just as beautiful as every other soul on this earth, because you have your own sparkle in your eyes and your own rosy cheeks that resemble no others.

And I want you to know that whether you have one friend or fifteen friends, you are likable and lovable, and you should never doubt it. I want you to know that it’s okay to feel down sometimes. You don’t need to make up for it or fix it. Sometimes you just have to be there in the moment and live through it. But I do hope that if you are having a hard time, you can forgive yourself and share a little love with yourself. I hope you can see that you aren’t doing anything wrong.

And for these two minutes, I hope you have remembered how marvelously special you are, and how much this little green and blue planet needs someone just like you. And I hope you feel better soon because someone as special as you deserves care and love and comfort and joy.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

DYH Signature

Scorpios Ruin Their Own Lives

Hello loves ❤

As you all know, I am a Scorpio – I am a HARSH Scorpio. If there is something that is right in life its my ZODIAC SIGN.

Below are 11 reasons how Scorpios ruin their life without even realising.

 

  1. You ruin your life when you judge yourself too harshly.

As a Scorpio, you are your own toughest critic. This leads you to much success but even greater self-inflicted pressure. The want and need to succeed becomes your single-minded focus. Sometimes you focus too much on the destination and don’t spend as much time on the journey.

 

  1. You ruin your life by burning bridges and not forgiving others.

You are one of the most loyal signs. With that loyalty, you hold others to that same standard and you don’t expect them to mess up or hurt you. Sometimes they do. No one is perfect even you who strives for perfection. But you hold grudges, burn bridges and don’t forgive people for what they’ve done even when they say sorry. It’s good to be cautious. But sometimes you’re overcautious.

 

  1. You ruin your life when you fear love and push people away.

You love harder than any sign which means you are bound to get hurt even more. And you have. Pain changes people and you’ve built a wall around your heart completely overcome with fear of letting anyone too close. But the pain you fear repeating yourself and pushing people away if you let them in you’ll realize some people’s love has the ability to heal.

 

  1. You ruin your life by reliving the past.

Scorpios tend to dwell on the past and fear the future. Failing to live in the moment and be happy. When you live in the past you build it up to be something it wasn’t. You replay memories painting them better than they were and not seeing it for what it was. That will always leave you feeling a bit empty and guilty. Learn to let go and not feel bad about it.

 

  1. You ruin your life by not trusting your instincts.

Scorpios are the most intuitive of all signs and should trust themselves more. But like everyone they have doubts. The problem arises when they turn to too many people and lose sight of what they even want.

 

  1. You ruin your life when you hide your emotions.

Because you are so emotional, you’re afraid of it sometimes. You are afraid to show that side to anyone. You fear vulnerability. You fear someone getting to know you to the core of who you are and rejecting you. And instead of showing you care you come across as difficult with sharp edges when in reality your bark is completely opposite of your bite.

 

  1. You ruin your life by allowing yourself to burn out.

You hate saying no to people. You hate letting anyone down. You stay busy and never catch a break. But sometimes you need to and most the time you deserve it. Before you spread yourself too thin remember it’s okay to say no.

 

  1. You ruin your life by being too competitive.

When it comes to others you want to be the best. And it isn’t an ego thing. It’s a you thing always striving to achieve your best. A lot of people look at it as arrogant. But you didn’t just wake up being the best you worked at it. But it’s okay when you lose sometimes. It’s okay when someone is better than you. Striving for perfection is admirable but don’t kill yourself with unrealistic expectations.

 

  1. You ruin your life by not having faith in other people.

You think you are the only one you can trust. The only one who can do something right. But if you put faith in others they will surprise you. You like having control and taking ownership of your life. But it’s okay to let go of reins a bit.

 

  1. You ruin your life by being so blunt.

You have the best intentions you just don’t know how, to be honest without it hurting people. The truth hurts and Scorpios don’t hold back or care if it’s offensive. Anyone who wants an honest opinion of a situation and good advice where someone won’t blow smoke up your ass, turn to you. But sometimes it’s okay to not always say what you’re thinking and just let people make the mistakes they are going to make.

 

  1. You ruin your life by not loving yourself better

You do really well for yourself and you work so hard. But you never give yourself credit where credit is due. You are always focusing on the next hurdle instead of celebrating in the past success. You strive for perfection because you focus too much on your flaws and the mistakes you’ve made. But if you saw yourself the way everyone else did, you’d realize how wonderful you are. You deserve to see yourself in that light.

 

^ All the above is TRUE! Its all SPOT ON! I love this. But its also a lot of things that I most certainly need to work on ❤

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

A, x (1)

I Want Security

Hello loves ❤

At the end of the day, I just want to feel safe.

I just want to feel like the person talking to me is honest and genuine. I want to feel like I don’t have to go back questioning every word or wondering if these are lies I’m falling for again. I just want to believe that someone can mean what they say and prove that by consistent actions. I just want to feel like my heart is in safe hands.

I just want to know that someone is choosing me because of me; not because of what I do or how I look or how much attention they can get from me. I want to know that someone is choosing to stay with me when I’m falling short and my mind is messy and my heart is heavy. I just want to feel that their heart settled on me. There’s no competition to worry about. There’s nothing to fear. I know where I stand. I know what I mean to them. I know that they need me just as much as I need them.

At the end of the day, I just want security.

Love is important but love fades slowly and it can take many shapes and forms but the one thing that remains is security. Feeling safe. Building a solid foundation that can’t be broken easily. Building a home that won’t fall apart at the first sign of trouble.

And what keeps that going is security — knowing that someone wants to be there for you. Knowing that someone is choosing to see all the beautiful things about you instead of trying to find what’s missing in someone else. Knowing that someone wants to reassure you that you’re important and you matter and you mean the world to them.

At the end of the day I want someone to heal my heart, calm my mind and silence my doubts. I want to feel the kind of security that I wish my parents could have given each other. The kind of security that all my exes failed to give me. The kind of security that stops me from settling for all the wrong ones. Because if I can’t find that kind of security, then I’d rather be alone. I can’t stand on trembling ground. I can’t build something while my hands are shaking. I can’t go all in when my heart is worried about getting broken.

At the end of the day, I just want security. I want someone to keep me safe. I want someone who makes me feel like no matter what happens in the world, I’ll always have a home. I’ll always have a hand to hold. I’ll always have a heart that wants me. I’ll always have someone who protects me from everything that threatens me.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

A, x (1)