Why You Can’t Let Go

Why you can't let go (1)

 

Hello loves, ❤

Sometimes we meet someone who breaks our heart, and it takes ages to heal it. It might be years later, and we still wonder why it didn’t work out.

When we can’t let go of someone, we re-experience the past way too many times in our heads. Thus we don’t embody our potential. Because there is this heavy burden dragging us back on each step we take.

When we don’t let go, we project our past on the present, and so we can’t recognize the opportunities and love that might want to come our way. It’s like walking through life with red lenses believing that everything has a red tint.

When you carry the conviction that something went wrong, it’s precisely the same. You live in an endless loop of repressed accusations and regret so you can’t see clearly.

The reason why it’s so difficult to let go of your ex-lover is that you haven’t understood the lesson it was meant to teach you.

Every person and situation are our teachers. Even if it doesn’t seem so, everything happens FOR us. Not TO us. This includes the person who broke your heart, and you still think of them. Even if you want to desperately move on.

In fact, you manifested this person into your life to help you understand what you didn’t want to look at yourself.

Meeting this person is like a message from your innermost self.

It shows you exactly these parts of yourself that you’ve been denying. Every single time. No exceptions. Even if you think he was special because we all sometimes do.

But the universal laws are clear and sound. The other person came to your life to teach you what you needed the most. The pain that you felt afterward was meant to get your attention so that you can witness your deepest inner demons.

There is a magic happening when you meet your most-buried fears – you find inner freedom.

You set yourself free from what used to keep you in chains, and you find out that they were just made of paper. You could have set yourself free anytime but you couldn’t without that one person who broke your heart.

The instant you understand the lesson, you’re ready to let go of them for real.

Their purpose in your life was fulfilled. You received the message, and now it’s time for new adventures.

How can you find what their purpose in your life was?

This is the moment that requires absolute honesty. Think of the person you can’t let go of and ask yourself; “What is it that I want from them the most? What is the one special thing that I believe only they can give me?”

In most cases, it’s how they made us feel. In our heads, we might have believed that the way they loved us was special. There was this deep bond with them that seemingly no one else can replace.

But there is at least one person who can – you.

Deep down, you crave to love yourself the way you believed they loved you. You wish to look at yourself in the mirror the way they looked at you. You hunger for own love and acceptance.

If you don’t believe me, imagine that you’d give yourself all these things you’d once wanted from them. How does it make you feel? Whole, loved, and like all is well?

This is what you actually desire more than anything. They came to your life to remind you of it.

It’s not them that you miss, it’s the way you felt once they were there.

Now is the time to learn to give yourself everything that you’ve once wanted from them. And allow others to love you, too. Because they are many who would love to come closer to your life. Now you’re ready to open your heart once again.

Don’t make your whole universe dependent on that one person who was just the messenger to remind you of your own inner beauty.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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See The Good In Goodbye

See The Good In Goodbye

Hello loves, ❤

I was never a big fan of changes. From the tiniest changes to major ones that have huge impacts on my life. But as I encounter more changes throughout time, I’ve grown to have a more love-hate relationship with them. Still, if another change knocks on my door, I won’t open it with full enthusiasm. My hands will still shake with hesitation whether I’m ready to welcome another change in my life.

Besides, a lot of changes aren’t polite enough to wait for you to open the door for them. They will open it themselves or even force an entrance to get close to your space if you try to stop it from coming. The more resistance only makes it harder for yourself to embrace it and grow from it.

Speaking of opening doors, changes often have to do with new beginnings.

This new beginning often is a result of an ending. Without something to end, there is no reason to start something new. This could be anything. Like climate change for example. Temperatures rising rapidly is causing environments to change. Ice slowly melting on top of mountains, like ice cones on a hazy summer day. Organisms dying from polluted waters. We cannot turn time back to save what already has happened, but we can see the good in goodbyes. Because when we are able to see that, we allow ourselves to adapt from the emerged situations. In this case, adapt our habits and take measures to protect the environment we are living in.

When we say goodbye to a faded friendship or relationship, allow yourself to see the good in goodbye. It’s good it happened because you no longer comprehend each other the way you used to before. You no longer can add value to each other’s lives, so it’s only natural that each one of you parted your way to make space again for a friendship which will flourish for the second time around. Or a third round. Even a fourth round. In this journey of life, we will lose a lot. Paradoxically, losses are gains at the same time.

See the good in goodbyes and do not hesitate to open the door when a new change is around the corner.

I’m currently stuck in this love-hate relationship. Hate it, because the amount of stress that comes with it is sometimes too much to handle. And only after I reflect back on what I have gained in return made me love the unavoidable changes that come rushing through my door without knocking or patiently wait for me to open it.

Because, whether you like it or not, they will come to you at some point. And when they do, I hope you can see the good in byes and look at them with a fresh start of the back of your mind.

See the good in goodbyes.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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Your Anxiety Is Actually Controlling Your Life

Your Anxiety Is Actually Controlling Your Life

Hello loves, ❤

Anyone who suffers from excess anxiety or an anxiety disorder knows that anxiety is strange in how it manifests in daily life. It’s beyond reason or logic, and just, in general, makes no sense. It is also super sneaky. For those blessed with anxiety like myself, a lot of times it feels more in control than it is until it doesn’t. If we aren’t mindful or aware of how anxiety is affecting us in the present moment, it’s easy for it to kind of work its way onto the main stage and then jump out and yell,”Surprise, I’m here!”

As a recovering agoraphobic, I’ve learned over time that looking for and being aware of warning signs that anxiety is becoming increasingly invasive can spare a lot of distress in the long run. By looking for certain red flags, anxiety controlling thoughts and other feelings can be caught early and reeled in before becoming a bigger problem that starts directing major or even minor life choices. The following 5 signs can be reliable indicators that anxiety is playing more of a part of your life than it needs to:

1. You avoid too many things you know you shouldn’t.

Avoidance is probably the most clear-cut indication that anxiety is playing a large role in your life. Fear induces a fight, flight, or freeze response that – for an individual who doesn’t experience excess anxiety – enhances the ability to cope with a given situation. However, for those of us that do live with excess anxiety, it can paralyze us, cause us to run from a frightening situation, or even cause a panic attack. So you then start avoiding that coffee shop that you and your ex used to frequent. Or you avoid calling your overbearing mother back. Or you avoid checking your email so you don’t have to subject yourself to whatever hell may have broken loose at work. You suddenly realize you avoid a lot of things. You realize your anxiety has gained the power necessary to control where you go and what you do.

2. You worry too much about everything.

Some worry is good. If you didn’t care about anything, you wouldn’t pay your bills, you’d look like complete garbage, and you’d probably starve. It’s important to worry about the right things in the right amounts. But when the worry takes on a mind of its own, things get a little dicier. Anxiety is a funny thing in that it feeds off of itself. The more the worry runs wild, the more out of control it will feel. So when the focus of the worry shifts from normal things in normal amounts to worrying night and day about – for example – whether you’re capable enough or are just a living example of imposter syndrome, or whether you’ll find a stable career that doesn’t suck the soul out of you, or whether you’re actually deserving of the healthy, non-toxic love of another quality human being, the worry just starts to take on a life of its own and become a controlling force in your life.

3. You think about the future too much.

It was the Chinese philosopher Laozi who graced us with the quote, ”If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” When anxiety starts to take control of our thoughts, we start to think more about where we will be tomorrow and less about where are right now. Rather than focusing on the fact that you’re currently on the couch with your significant other and enjoying time together watching your favorite show on Netflix, you’re focusing constantly on what needs to be done to prepare for tomorrow’s meeting, or what laundry still needs to be done, or what you need to do to prepare your breakfast for tomorrow morning. When we start thinking these thoughts all of the time, it exhausts us and keeps us feeling continuously anxious.

4. Your anxiety stops you from chasing what you want.

For those of us with anxiety, our minds seem to throw out a constant stream of what I like to call ”what ifs,” or thoughts that focus on future outcomes of events that haven’t even happened yet. These will make the world seem like a scary place. You want to quit your job and work as a freelance writer? But what if you can’t make enough money and pay your bills? Or you want to take a trip to Thailand but you’d have to go alone since none of your friends can go? But what if something bad were to happen? What if you can’t handle such a substantial adventure and wind up lost and alone somewhere? Catastrophizing is the name of the game with ”what ifs”. These thoughts oftentimes lead to self-sabotage and prevent us from living the life we deep down want to live.

5. You notice your anxiety make you feel like less than you are.

This can be the most draining piece for someone with anxiety. While we know it shouldn’t, anxiety can sometimes cause our self-esteem to take a hit. It makes you doubt whether or not you’re capable of handling whatever you face. It can make the uncertainty of the future feel like it’s working against you. It can make you feel like everyone else has such a handle on life when you subjectively struggle on the daily with trying to keep your fear in check. Most days this intense self-doubt isn’t a problem, but when it starts to appear more and more frequently, it’s a sign that anxiety is not only taking over our thoughts but our self-perception as well. When we start to feel that anxiety defines who we are as a person, that’s a sign that anxiety has taken on a much more dominant role in our lives than it needs to.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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75,000 Views, Yay!

75,000 Views

Hello loves ❤

Happy Friday! (It’s Friday here in Sydney, Australia) Or, as I like to call it FRIYAY!

AB9B724B-E7A9-43AD-8601-32FAF4715F5ABc yay, it’s Friday. Woo – This is the view form my office right now… Look at that beautiful sunset!

What a week – This one has been a BIG week, its had so many ups & downs, more downs then anything else unfortunately.

BUT… The weekend is around the corner, & I am so grateful so the weekend, woo.

What does everyone have planned?

Here we are again, another 1000 views for the bag.

75,000 views, bless you all! I am so grateful for all you lovely people ❤

Thank you to the below people for re-blogging my work:

We had a big blogging week this week, we talked about HYPOCHONDRIA, the last blog in this series will be published tomorrow, be sure to check it out. If you’ve missed series 1-3, they are below for you:

I received a lovely gift from the people I work with today, they sent me Dessert Boxes as me & a work colleague worked extremely hard behind a big work issue during the which caused a lot of drama & sleepless night. How cute is all the donuts?

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Donuts are my weakness… WAIT… Any junk food is my weakness! The way to my heart is SWEETS. I have the biggest sweet tooth!

I hope you all have a beautiful weekend 🙂

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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