Feel More Grateful Every Single Day

Feel More Grateful Every Single Day

Hello loves, ❤

I think we could all learn to be a little more grateful, myself included. It’s so easy so to go through life focusing on the things we don’t have, whether that’s the impressive career, the smoking hot partner, a tight-knit family, or the shiny finances.

Our psychology is practically geared to make us ungrateful. Here’s a lesson that always stuck with me from an article: studies show that people felt more distress from losing $20 than they did happiness from gaining the same $20. You know what, it makes sense. Feeling our distress strongly (and acting on it) could get us out of danger. But in today’s age, it’s hard to justify our negativity in the same way. Feeling bad about the boy who didn’t text, the job you didn’t get, or the rude lady who cut you off in traffic really doesn’t do you much good. So, I threw together a list of ways we can fight our brains and bring gratitude to the foreground of our minds. Here we go:

1. Savor the gratitude you feel naturally

Ever notice it’s so much easier to cling to negativity than those really dope rushes of happiness? Here’s a challenge: next time you get that natural rush of gratitude, hold on to it. Really savor that moment and try to extend it for as long as possible. Let’s say you see a cute puppy on the street and you smile because it makes you think of your own dog waiting back home, embrace that thought and really think about everything you love about your pup. Or maybe, you get a text from your friend asking you how your day’s going. Pause for a second and think about how lucky you really are to have such a supportive network. It’s all about training our brains to assign importance to these types of thoughts.

2. Call home, whatever or whomever “home” is for you

Because they’re worth it. Nothing brings me more gratitude than knowing I have a family that loves me. It’s really easy for me to get caught up in my day-to-day obligations. I’m sure most people can relate. But guess what? “Being busy” or “life getting in the way” isn’t a valid excuse. Everybody’s busy – that’s really just a requirement of life. So next time you’re on the fence about picking up the phone, just do it. That latest episode of Netflix can wait, and so can that 8:00 PM email to your coworker.

3. Be a decent human being

One of the first steps to continued gratitude is believing the world is a kind place. And I think the best way to achieve that mindset is to be a kind person yourself. By being decent to others, you’ll bring out their decency. Plus, you’ll feel pretty good about yourself. That’s warm and fuzzy feelings all around! I’m not saying you have to donate half your savings to a cause you’ve never heard of. Hold open the door for a stranger, compliment your coworker, bring your friend over some chicken noodle soup when they’re hungover. It’s the little things.

4. Unplug

Getting off social media is a probably advice you’ve seen in every self-help article you’ve ever read. (Probably because it’s some really good advice.) Scrolling through Insta is bound to encourage comparison. Comparison often leads to envy, and envy in inevitably leads to a lack of gratitude. Plus, marketers have gotten really damn good at identifying what they think we need and shoving it down our throats in the form of pretty ads. That’s great for them, but not so great for us when we’re trying to appreciate what we already have. One of the best ways to feel more grateful is to shift your attention from all the things missing in your life to what’s already in front of you. Shocking concept, I know. You could start by turning off those tempting, little red notification badges.

5. Let those negative thoughts pass on through

It’s close to impossible to feel gratitude when you’re letting negative thoughts frantically cycle through your head. I know, because I’ve done this a lot. For years, I’d let my thoughts get the best of me, letting my brain play failures, anxieties, and awkward scenarios on repeat…I still do sometimes, but I’m getting better about it. It’s crazy how easy it is to selectively focus on the negatives in our lives. Next time you catch yourself doing this, try your best not to fight it (it definitely makes it worse). Let the thought pass on through, just like you would a breath of air. Remember, you get to choose what ends up sticking around in your mind.

6. Set time aside in your day to reflect

Gratitude, like everything else in life, takes work. It can be developed. How? By actually setting aside time in your schedule to practice it. Sometimes on my way to work, I like to put on a song that brings me to a happy place and reflect on everything good I’ve got going for me. Find something that works for you. Maybe that just means thinking of three things that made you happy that day right before bed. Maybe it means pushing yourself to send out that “thank you” text to an acquaintance, or greeting someone with a smile. Think of gratitude, and happiness in general, as a muscle. You’ve got to keep flexing to see so those results.

7. Put your life into perspective

Everyone has something to be grateful for, period. If you’re reading this, congrats, that means you have enough time on your hands for leisurely reading. Have a family that loves you? Good for you, not everyone can say that. Have full use of your body? Not everyone can say that either. Realizing how fortunate you are compared to others is the fastest shortcut to gratitude. Be grateful for the family and friends that always show up for you. Be grateful for the education that allows you to read these words. Be grateful for your body, and its endless mechanisms, that allow you to be a living, breathing human being.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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Why You Can’t Let Go

Why you can't let go (1)

 

Hello loves, ❤

Sometimes we meet someone who breaks our heart, and it takes ages to heal it. It might be years later, and we still wonder why it didn’t work out.

When we can’t let go of someone, we re-experience the past way too many times in our heads. Thus we don’t embody our potential. Because there is this heavy burden dragging us back on each step we take.

When we don’t let go, we project our past on the present, and so we can’t recognize the opportunities and love that might want to come our way. It’s like walking through life with red lenses believing that everything has a red tint.

When you carry the conviction that something went wrong, it’s precisely the same. You live in an endless loop of repressed accusations and regret so you can’t see clearly.

The reason why it’s so difficult to let go of your ex-lover is that you haven’t understood the lesson it was meant to teach you.

Every person and situation are our teachers. Even if it doesn’t seem so, everything happens FOR us. Not TO us. This includes the person who broke your heart, and you still think of them. Even if you want to desperately move on.

In fact, you manifested this person into your life to help you understand what you didn’t want to look at yourself.

Meeting this person is like a message from your innermost self.

It shows you exactly these parts of yourself that you’ve been denying. Every single time. No exceptions. Even if you think he was special because we all sometimes do.

But the universal laws are clear and sound. The other person came to your life to teach you what you needed the most. The pain that you felt afterward was meant to get your attention so that you can witness your deepest inner demons.

There is a magic happening when you meet your most-buried fears – you find inner freedom.

You set yourself free from what used to keep you in chains, and you find out that they were just made of paper. You could have set yourself free anytime but you couldn’t without that one person who broke your heart.

The instant you understand the lesson, you’re ready to let go of them for real.

Their purpose in your life was fulfilled. You received the message, and now it’s time for new adventures.

How can you find what their purpose in your life was?

This is the moment that requires absolute honesty. Think of the person you can’t let go of and ask yourself; “What is it that I want from them the most? What is the one special thing that I believe only they can give me?”

In most cases, it’s how they made us feel. In our heads, we might have believed that the way they loved us was special. There was this deep bond with them that seemingly no one else can replace.

But there is at least one person who can – you.

Deep down, you crave to love yourself the way you believed they loved you. You wish to look at yourself in the mirror the way they looked at you. You hunger for own love and acceptance.

If you don’t believe me, imagine that you’d give yourself all these things you’d once wanted from them. How does it make you feel? Whole, loved, and like all is well?

This is what you actually desire more than anything. They came to your life to remind you of it.

It’s not them that you miss, it’s the way you felt once they were there.

Now is the time to learn to give yourself everything that you’ve once wanted from them. And allow others to love you, too. Because they are many who would love to come closer to your life. Now you’re ready to open your heart once again.

Don’t make your whole universe dependent on that one person who was just the messenger to remind you of your own inner beauty.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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Is The Pain Keeping You Awake?

look upinto the stars.

Hello loves, ❤

Yes, you. The person staring at their phone at 2 a.m., under the covers of their bed; at eight, on your way to work; at 12, during your lunch break; as you’re trying to squeeze in 5K on the treadmill or taking a break from writing your coursework. I’m talking to you, as I’m talking to me.

Things will be better. It doesn’t feel that way now, but they will.

This is where you’ll recoil or roll your eyes; I can’t possibly know what’s going on, right? (Just make sure not to snap at your barista when they ask you your drink order, okay?) In a way, you’re right. I don’t know the specificities of the situation. I don’t know you. I barely know what goes on in my life at any given point. Hell, for all I know, none of this advice will ultimately help and you’ll throw down your device in disgust for ever having clicked the title of this article.

But I know with a reasonable certainty that you’re in pain. It’s gnawing at your gut and the back of your throat, behind your teeth or deep inside your brain. It’s making you pound the tarmac until your feet blister, and growl at wait staff; keeping you awake, and restless even during a commute. It sent you, as it did me, down the rabbit hole of the Internet, looking for a cure, or a distraction, and landed you here.

Eventually.

I know. I’ve been there. The hurting doesn’t stop, it just changes forms. Sometimes for me, it’s heartache. Sometimes it’s worry for my family. Sometimes, my own body turns against me, rendering me screaming and whining like an animal, unable to take even the lightest touch. The only constant is that, eventually, the pain ebbs.

If you’re anything like me, you’re rolling your eyes so hard they might fall out of your head right now. This too shall pass? Really? Empty platitudes, devoid of meaning.

I’ve been there, too. I’m here right now, in fact. Despite, objectively, having it together, I wake every day drowning in despair, convinced that I’m stuck in a vicious circle, doomed to repeat the same mistakes, over and over again. People sometimes say: “Why are you so upset about X, it’s just A Thing, it doesn’t reflect that badly on you!” But what they don’t realize is how one little thing (or several big things together) can send you back, how they make you view your life story. We get rejected, or hurt, or our illnesses flare up, and instead of taking it in stride, we think “This proves that I’m worthless, this proves that I’ll never be okay, this proves I will never see anything better!”

It’s not true, but it sure feels that way, and sometimes that despair can make you feel trapped.

Here’s where I am now: Looking at specifics, trying to distract myself until the worst has gone. Not to logic myself calm, but to help myself see. These are the reasons why this time is different. These are the ways in which I have changed. I take myself away from the panic, until I can breathe freely again.

“I’m having an episode. I know what’s going to happen. I know what’s worked in the past. I have supports put into place. I can ride it out. I know who to call for help.”

“I’m sad. I’m heartbroken. It’s normal to feel this way. Don’t call, let them go. You would not have liked to be with them anyway, wait for a person who won’t make you live looking over one shoulder.”

“It’s scary right now for your family. You can’t fix things for them, but you can be there to support them. Just make sure you are healthy, too. Make sure you have somebody who listens to you, too.”

Maybe none of those things work for you, still. Maybe the specifics of your situation, or your previous hurts, are too much for you to look at right now. That’s okay. You don’t have to.

But please, get through this night. 

Get through the next day.

And the one after that. 

Let your friends help you. Or call a free number. Let somebody else listen for a while. Let them take the load off, if only temporarily.

Wait for it to pass. As runners say, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

DYH Signature

God Is With Us

God Is With Us

Hello loves, ❤

Are there days that you feel all alone? You wish for someone to keep you company; to be with you every step of the journey that we call life. You want someone to do things for you even without asking them to. You want someone to listen to your problems or how your day went. You want someone constant in your life; someone that won’t leave. They see how bad things get, but choose to stay every day. They know you aren’t perfect but love you just the same. Someone that will make you feel special. You want someone to give us genuine love.

You already have that someone. That someone is God.

God always keeps us company even when we feel all alone. God watches over us in everything we do, good or bad. God gives us more than what we want; God gives us what we need. God gives us strength when we are weak and afraid to carry on. God is the listening ear we want after a bad day. God is the shoulder to cry on when we can’t stop the tears from coming. God knows we aren’t perfect but loves us as if we are and never asks us to be. God made us all special in our own way and makes us feel special each day with our own lessons to learn.

We get upset with God when we don’t get what we want, but we forget to thank God for giving us what we need. We blame God for our bad days but forget God’s responsible for the good ones, sometimes the best days of our lives. When we put ourselves in tough situations, we blame God instead of taking full responsibility for our actions.

God’s love is a privilege that we shouldn’t take for granted. God gave us so much more than we’ll ever deserve, but we can try to earn it.

We can start by talking to God. We need to thank God for the blessings of each day; see the silver lining of every situation. Tell God how our day went and our plans for the next day. Take the ideas of what we need to do and put them into action for God’s greater glory. We need to aspire to be like God; love like God. We need to love others without any reason to; no hidden agendas.

Love for the sake of loving. Help people up, not pull them down. Everything we’re going through is all part of God’s plan; we need to trust in God. Sometimes we have to take a leap of faith first and the trust part will come later because everything will work out in God’s perfect timing.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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