Real Reasons Why Dealing With Anxiety Is The Worst

Real Reasons Why Dealing With Anxiety Is The Worst

Hello loves, ❤

I like to call anxiety the silent killer of my aspirations. It likes to convince me that I have nothing good to say, or that, even if I did, someone else is already saying it better than I ever could. It likes to set negative expectations, so that in the event that the bad thing actually happens, my useless fears are reinforced. “See?” my anxiety says, “what did I tell you about ignoring me?”

They say fear is a natural thing. It serves an important role in our lives, and has kept our species from dying out. Anxiety is fear on steroids, it’s death from the inside out. It’s when your brain is hijacked and constantly in fight or flight mode. It’s exhausting, it’s useless, and fighting against it makes you feel like David standing up to Goliath. There’s many reasons I despise my anxiety, but the following five are the bulk of my scorn.

1. The Ups and Downs.

Anxiety is one step forward, one step backward, a never ending cha cha. You feel trapped in a loop of “wow, I’m doing so much better” and “today I failed massively.” The worst part? You don’t know if you’ve really failed, or if it’s just your anxiety is making you feel like you did.

2. Constantly needing reassurance.

Constant reassurance. You know, more than anyone, that it can be a pain. The last thing you want to do is ask your friend if you did an okay job ordering from the drive through, because the lady at the window looked at you kind of funny. Sometimes the “you did fine” that follows isn’t enough to calm your racing thoughts.

3. Always worrying about something.

Anxiety is proactive and reactive. It will not only stop you from doing things you want to do, thus, being proactive. It will also plague you when you are having fun. There’s always that moment where your immediate problems have all been solved and you feel almost as if you’re missing something. Shouldn’t I be worrying about something? Then it starts again. To be noted: if you have anxiety, googling symptoms of an illness is not advisable.

4. Caring too much. About everything.

Anxiety likes it if you care what other people think; that further hinders your ability to find yourself and be truly happy. If you try to cater to everyone, you will be locked in a very tight box, I assure you. It’s so easy to lose sight of your own identity in trying to make it fit with someone else’s picture of what is right. It’s hard not to want to shrink yourself into the smallest person you can be, just to appease your fears.

5. Being too much while simultaneously not being enough.

You’re too much of a worrier, too much of a people pleaser, not enough of a risk taker, not enough of an individual. If anxiety and all the things it prohibits is not enough, the constant misunderstanding of those around you can really make you want to crawl into a hole. It’s important to accept who you are, anxiety or no. It’s important to ignore the people who don’t appreciate you, but it’s so much easier to say these things than to actually do them.

My anxiety is a grotesque, slimy creature that feeds off of canceled plans and inner turmoil. I don’t like it, and I don’t like its friends. This is why I hate my anxiety.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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On Your Worst Days

On Your Worst Days

Hello loves, ❤

I know it seems like things will never get better. And I know that you feel like you are stuck in your current situation. Life has seemed like more of a battle than a blessing lately, and every time you finally seem to make a breakthrough, life only seems to knock you back down. These are the days that can either destroy or define you, and it is up to you to decide which path you take.

I hope you don’t let it destroy you.

I hope you get back up every time the world expects you to just give up and stay stationary. I hope you never feel like you won’t get any further than you are right now because you have no idea how much more you will grow in just a few short years. You will meet people whose impact will stay with you for years, and though some of these memories will be negative, you will learn how to transform that negativity into exactly the motivation you need to move forward. You will learn what love really is and exactly what it is not. You will finally understand the value of being alone and all of the joy that only you can bring to yourself. You will learn to start living for yourself.

None of this will be easy, and I don’t think change will ever become easy for you or for anyone. The more things change, the more unpredictable life becomes and with that unpredictability comes the fear of the unknown. You have always been so afraid, but eventually, you will learn to not only tell yourself to be brave but to truly live that way. You will have your moments where your fear may get the best of you, but the older you get, the more resilient you will become. You will begin to understand the power of your own mind and your ability to either make a bad day better or worse. And one day I hope you will always choose to make it better.

Things are definitely going to get better. It is all in how you perceive what is happening around you.

You can either let your circumstances consume you, or you can use them as motivation to get yourself to where you truly want to be. Your career, your money, your love life, all of these things are ever-changing and therefore, you must learn to live with the fact that life will not and cannot stay the same. If everything around you is changing, you have to learn to adapt along with it or else you may find yourself crumbling under the weight of all of the things you cannot control.

You are going to meet so many different people throughout your life. Some of these people are meant to stick around for a while and others are just here for a moment; regardless of how long you get to spend with someone, know that their impact on your life is not determined by the amount of time you knew them. You can spend years with a person and never truly know them and minutes with others who seem like home. Learning how to let go is one of life’s biggest challenges, but the more you encounter these types of situations, the more you will truly understand the value of the phrase, “If you love someone, let them go.”

Love comes in so many different forms. You will find romantic love, and you will lose it. You will think time and time again that this time will be the time that everyone always talks about only to realize you are just not at that time yet. It’s okay. With each new person you meet and you lose, you will learn exactly what you want out of a relationship, and one day, I am confident that you will meet someone beyond your wildest expectations. You have already met some truly remarkable people, and if it hasn’t been any of them, just imagine who it is you have waiting for you. They are waiting for you, too.

You will form so many new friendships, and your heart will grow with the realization of how many more people like you there are out there. With these beautiful new relationships forming, you will also experience what it is like to lose those who you thought would always be by your side. We are not the same people we were when we were 18. Life changes, and so do we, and none of us should shame each other if that growth pulls us in different directions. We are not all meant to be the same people, and we have to learn to accept that. Sometimes these “break-ups” will hurt worse than romantic ones because so often we forget that our friendships need as much work as our romantic relationships. Sometimes you will be able to repair these ties, and other times, you will learn that often the best thing two people can do for each other is to simply just move on. Moving on doesn’t have to be ugly; it is just the acceptance of the fact that not everything we love is meant to last forever.

Today may not be your best day, and tomorrow might not be either, but I promise you that one day, you will wake up and realize this is the beginning of everything you have ever wanted.

Please don’t give up on your dreams and the life you always wanted for one that feels comfortable or seems like what you deserve. You do not deserve the horrible things that you think you do, and I hope one day you can truly believe that. It is up to you whether you want to move forward or stand still; but know that if you choose to stay exactly where you are, you will never know how far you could have gone.

It is always worth the risk of failure to work towards all that you have ever wanted. You never know what tomorrow could bring, so please don’t close yourself off to the future. The difficult days can be crippling, but the beautiful days are worth more than you could ever imagine. I promise you that.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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When You Feel Like You Are Falling Behind

SSENTIALs

Hello loves, ❤

1. There is no time limit on when you can find love or reach success. You have an entire lifetime to reach the goals you set for yourself.

2. Just because your friends have reached certain milestones by now does not mean you were supposed to do the same. Their answer to happiness is not necessarily the same as yours.

3. You are allowed to move at your own pace. You are allowed to take your time. You are allowed to crawl instead of run.

4. There are no shortcuts toward success. You have to choose the hard road, because the easy one will not get you exactly where you were aiming to land.

5. No one else is judging you as harshly as you have been judging yourself. It’s true that you are your own worst critic.

6. You might not be ahead of your competition yet, but you are ahead of the person you were five years ago.

7. Do not rush toward your future and forget to cherish your present. Enjoy every moment for what it’s worth.

8. You are still young and have plenty of time to chase after your dreams. You do not have to hurry.

9. Never give up. Never stop believing in yourself.

10. Failing once does not mean you are going to fail every other time you try. Practice leads to perfection.

11. You cannot compare journeys, because no two people are the same.

12. Your parents might have accomplished a lot by your current age, but the world is much different now than when they were younger.

13. You should be proud of everything you have, not bitter about what you still haven’t earned.

14. Nothing happens overnight. You are not going to wake up one morning, magically transported into the life you have always wanted.

15. Everything worthwhile takes time. Passion. Dedication.

16. Don’t let your impatience convince you that your dreams are out of your reach. You will achieve every goal as long as you keep going.

17. You always have enough time to change paths if you feel like a different direction would make you happier. You are not stuck in this same space forever.

18. Marriage and millions in the bank is not everyone’s idea of success.

19. Your pessimism is holding you back from greatness. It is convincing you to remain inside of your comfort zone.

20. When you stop doubting yourself, you will find yourself achieving more.

21. Your success might take longer to reach, but it might also last for longer.

22. If you give up now, you will never forgive yourself. You will always have what ifs. 

23. Stop selling yourself short, stop making excuses, and stop treating yourself as a burden.

24. You are better than you have been telling yourself.

25. If you want something, you are eventually going to get it.

26. Success is always a possibility.

27. You can do this — as long as you put your heart and soul into it.

28. You are good enough.

29. As long as you are putting effort into accomplishing your goals, you should not be disappointed in yourself.

30. You are not falling behind. You are doing fine.

 

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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I Want To Be A Better Person

I Want To Be A Better Person

Hello loves, ❤

I want to be the kind of person who lets go of grudges instead of holding onto anger for years and letting it tear me apart. I want to be able to forgive. I want to be able to move past the crappy things that have happened in my past. I want to drop my baggage and move forward into my future. 

I want to be the kind of person who always looks on the bright side instead of assuming everything is going to fall apart eventually. I hate how I expect the worst. I want to remain optimistic. I want to believe good things are bound to happen. I want to be excited about tomorrow instead of dreading what might go down.

I want to be the kind of person who can strike up a conversation with anyone anywhere instead of having trouble forming complete sentences in group settings. I want to be able to socialize without getting butterflies caught in my stomach. I want to put myself out there without freaking out about what other people might say about me. 

I want to be the kind of person who gives without expecting anything in return instead of continuing my selfish streak. I want to spread love. I want to encourage peace. I want to feel good about doing good instead of only caring about myself. 

I want to be the kind of person who is overflowing with confidence instead of thinking so low of myself. I want to love the person staring back in the mirror. I want to hold my head high. I want to believe I can accomplish anything. I want to believe that I am worthy of love and success.

I want to be the kind of person who congratulates other people on their accomplishments instead of secretly seething with jealousy because in my mind, anyone who accomplishes their dreams is doing better than me. Because I turn every little thing into a competition and start moping when I’m not the one in the spotlight. 

I want to be the kind of person who is willing to take chances instead of attempting to blend into the background. I want to forward my career. I want to take risks for love. I want to find my courage and take steps forward instead of remaining stuck in the same place. 

I want to be the kind of person who goes out of the way to help others instead of turning down invitations out of inconvenience. I want my loved ones to feel like they can always rely on me. I want them to trust that I will be there for them, no matter what time of night they need me.

I want to be the kind of person who has faith things are going to get better instead of being such a skeptic. I want to see the beauty in this world. I want to appreciate every moment of my existence.

I want to be a better person — and I am actively trying to change myself every single day. I am trying to make myself proud.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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