Those Times When You Forget You’re Not Alone

Hello loves, ❤

“I don’t know how I’m going to get through this.” 

We’ve all felt this way at one point or another. I’m sure that you’ve also thought this before.

There are some moments that feel impossible to get through. There are some moments that make you feel broken. There are some moments that make you feel like nothing you do will ever be able to make everything okay again. There are some moments that will make you feel like you can’t be fixed.

You feel like everything is crumbling. You feel like nothing is going right. You start to feel like no one understands you. Perhaps you don’t have anyone to talk to. Perhaps you don’t want to talk to anyone about your problems. Perhaps it will feel like you only have yourself.

However long it lasts, even if it is one hour, it could feel like a lifetime. Nights like these can feel extremely long, especially if you can’t seem to fall asleep. It is possible for your mind to become your worst enemy. You can start to feel weak and alone.

But, you’re not alone.

I want you to remember the strength that is in your soul. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you allow yourself to believe. You can get through anything that is thrown your way. And not only will you get through it, but you will also learn from it. You will come out of any situation even stronger than you were previously if you pay attention to the lessons. You will even learn certain things about yourself that you never knew were possible. You can take the pain that you felt and turn it into fuel. Then, you can turn that fuel into love. After you heal, you will understand why you had to go through what you did. You will get clarity. You will get a greater understanding.

Through it all, I want you to remember that you’re not alone. Going through hard times can be difficult because there will be moments that you will feel like no one else is going through what you are going through. However, I want you to know that there is someone out there who is going through the same exact thing that you are going through.

Yes, humans are different. Yes, they are unique. Therefore, no one is exactly the same. However, the beauty of emotions is that everyone feels them. Everyone feels pain and everyone feels hurt at one point or another. There can be someone across the world who is going through the same thing that you are. And, even though you might not know them, it is comforting to know that someone else is dealing with what you are dealing with.

You are not alone. And, if ever you feel alone, I hope that you remember this: You will get through it. Keep holding on.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

DYH Signature

You Are #1

Hello loves ❤

At first it’s going to be uncomfortable especially when you’ve never made yourself a priority before. When you are the type of person who puts everyone else’s needs before your own. When happiness is defined by what you do for others and you’ve done it so long you forget to do things for yourself.

It’s realizing maybe the reason you aren’t where you want to be or feel the way you do is because you haven’t taken the steps to get there yourself when you’re constantly focusing on other things and people.

It’s looking yourself in the mirror and accepting the fact you made these choices and you can’t blame anyone if you aren’t happy or fulfilled.

It’s looking at your life and instead of pointing blame it’s finally taking responsibility.

It’s feeling a little confused because once you realize making other people happy hasn’t made you happy, you have to figure out what does and you might not even know that answer.

It’s sitting down and trying to figure out what you want while trying to evaluate and eliminate the things you don’t want.

It’s removing certain people from your life because you have to for your own wellbeing even if you love them and care about them and can’t imagine your life without them, sometimes distance and space is better.

It’s stopping instead of running from your problems because you know you can’t escape the things you are denying to be the truth and you can distract yourself from what the problem is. But you are at a point where you want to find a solution.

It’s doing something you don’t want to because that choice is going to put you on a track you’re proud of not one you’re settling for.

It’s asking yourself am I doing this because I want to? Or am I doing this because I feel I have to and I don’t want to let other people down?

It’s not feeling guilty to admit you need a break or you’re tired and just need to relax for once.

It’s staying in on a Friday because you look at your bank account and you don’t even know what you spent stuff on but you know, you should have been more responsible.

It’s finally wanting to take full responsibility for how you feel about yourself and not allowing others to define your self worth.

It’s ending those relationships that linger and have loose ends because you can’t keep giving chances to people who don’t deserve it.

It’s not answering when someone from the past comes back because don’t care about what they say because they shouldn’t have left in the first place.

It’s not always being the one to make plans with everyone and go all the way to them every time. It’s realizing people should be putting as much effort into you as you have them instead of taking the relationship for granted.

It’s checking in the people who check in on you because those are the people who matter.

It’s putting your phone down when you want to text someone because you are realizing the phone works both ways and the only person you should be interested in isn’t one who makes you question your self worth or question a simple text.

It’s holding back on dating because if you don’t know who you are and what you want you won’t know what to ask other people for.

It’s figuring out what you want and not being ashamed of it or feeling guilty for wanting something more than just a hookup.

It’s letting that really attractive person go even though you’re interested because you know you can’t turn them into the person you want them to be and you aren’t going to waste your effort.

It’s allowing yourself to breakdown and cry and fall completely apart because it’s okay to not have the answers. It’s okay to be unsure. It’s okay to be hurting and not know how to fix it.

Sometimes it takes strength to get to that place emotionally and feel through all the ugliness so it’s out of your system.

It’s realizing the life you are leading at this moment isn’t the one that’s making you happy so something has to change.

It’s taking a step towards a completely different lifestyle that you or others are used to. Even though there are going to be questions of why you are doing this and people who will doubt you and disapprove, you know you’re doing it for you. It’s not longer feeling guilty for disappointing people for living the life you want as oppose to the one they expect.

It’s realizing when you make certain changes in your life you’re going to lose people who are going to want you to go back to what you were doing and the person you were because it didn’t fit the mold of what they needed and wanted. But the real relationships in your life will support you.

It’s not selfish to want to be happy and want to have a life you’re really excited about. It’s essential.

It’s learning how to let something or someone go because you’ve outgrown it and even though good memories resided there you can’t keep looking back.

It’s evaluating your life and your choices and calling it exactly what it is. Your mistakes. Your failures. The things you did your ashamed of and instead of throwing a pity party, you learn. You grow. You forgive yourself because as much as other people deserve forgiveness you do too.

It isn’t selfish to forgive yourself for your mistakes.

It’s realizing you can’t force things. Whether that’s relationships or a lifestyle.

It’s giving everything your best effort but accepting that some things aren’t meant to be even if you want them to be.

Then once you realize this isn’t where I’m supposed to be, you find the courage to change it because people aren’t meant to stay in the same place doing the same thing. Especially if it’s not making them happy.

When a plant doesn’t thrive and grow the way it’s supposed to, you don’t blame the plant you simply change the environment to one it will do well in. That’s how you should approach everything in your life.

It’s taking a step back and looking at the life you are projecting out to the world across social media and asking yourself is any of this real? It’s pulling back if that answer is no and trying to create a life you don’t need to fake.

It’s not selfish to make yourself a priority and when you start to you’ll wish you did it sooner.

And it isn’t wrong to want to be happy.

It’s saying no for the first time in your life and not explaining why.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

DYH Signature

It’s Okay To Feel Stuck

Hello loves ❤

It’s okay to feel stuck. We don’t talk about that enough. Probably because we’re all trying to show the world how put together we can be. Because we want to live up to expectations. Because we perceive everyone else to be doing so much more than we are, in a way that looks easier than what we’re experiencing at any given moment. It’s easy to look around and only see the victories of others, the favorable end results. But seldom do we try to imagine their roadblocks, how long it actually took them to get to the place where we so desperately wish we could be.

We look at people succeeding and in turn shrink inside of ourselves. We ruminate. We compare without knowing backstories. And as a result, we feel even more stuck than we did in the first place.

What no one tells you, even the ones who have made it to the other side, is that feeling stuck is okay. It’s normal. Sometimes it’s even something that needs to happen. And it’s okay to wallow for a bit. It’s okay to take a hard look at where you are and admit it’s not where you want or need to be. There are so many drops in life and most of the time all you can do is ride the not-so-great parts out.

There are going to be times when you feel like a failure, when you become convinced you’ve been fooling yourself this entire time. When you feel so incredibly stupid for ever thinking you could be more than what you started out as. You’re going to look at every successful person you’ve ever admired and think “not me.”

The truth is that success never comes easy. It’s not a straight line forever climbing upward. It’s okay to feel stuck, but don’t ever lose sight. Be disappointed for a little while, but never let yourself forget that in order to get what you want, you’re going to have to fight and scratch like hell to get it. You’re going to have reach out as far as you can and grab it like it’s something that’s always belonged to you.

Let that stuck feeling shake you out of your rut. Let it inspire you. Find solace in the fact that feeling stuck means you’re trying, that you have a vision of where you want to get and a brief outline of how to get there.

Flesh out a map in your mind. That stuck feeling is your starting point, your new beginning. Build a ladder. Grasp each rung and climb out of the hole you feel you’re in. Mark your destination with an X and plan your path to getting there. Jot down notes when you have an idea. Wake up early each morning and get started when your mind is fresh. Take care of yourself. Evaluate that path.

Realize that stuck is not synonymous with forever.

Because being stuck doesn’t make you a failure. It means your mind is working, that you’re willing to recognize the fact that there’s more out there for you. Take the idea of success in your hands. Start with what you have and keep building.

Take “can’t” and turn it to “will”.

Take “stuck” and replace it with “flight.”

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

DYH Signature

Flying Solo

Sometimes we’re so concerned with finding a way to fill every single minute of every day interacting with people that we forget to take a step back and give ourselves some quality “me” time. Spending time alone is a way to recharge your mental batteries and regroup — everybody needs to do it now and then! So get over your fear of missing out or your reservations about being seen somewhere solo, and embark on a mission to treat yourself to these 20 dates with yourself.

 

  • Go to a daytime screening of a sad or embarrassingly bad movie. Feel no shame as you cry or swoon alone in the corner. Who cares? No one is there to see you!
  • Travel somewhere new. When you travel with other people, you always end up making compromises on what sights to see, where to eat, and what activities to do. Travelling alone — even if it’s just to the next town over — gives you the luxury of going at your own pace so that you’re able to soak up everything about the trip that you want to.
  • Take yourself on a dinner date. Bring along a book that you can’t put down, and immerse yourself in good eats and good reads — really, what’s better than that? Try to resist the urge to look at your phone and take your time as you enjoy ordering anything you want without anyone else asking for a bite.
  • Tour a museum. Let’s face it, a lot of your museum experiences probably involve a teacher, a tour guide, and a pack of rowdy kids. Set out to see every piece of art or history a local museum has, and spend time interpreting them exactly how you want to — not how the little paper pamphlet tells you to.
  • Have a spa day, or get a massage. It’s probably best for you to take on the steam room solo, anyway.
  • Go to a book store and get lost. Spend hours exploring every genre of book known to the world. Better still, snag one off the shelf and plop down in a comfy chair. Close down the store trying to finish that book (hey, you’ll save some cash), and leave only when the employees start giving you the side-eye.
  • Binge on a TV show. There is always another show to catch up on or re-watch, and there’s no one better to do it with then the one person who you know is just as excited as you are to plough through an entire series in a day.
  • Go to a free concert. Find a band that you like playing in your area, or seek out someone new with a sound you like. You never know — they may be the next big thing, and you found them first. When you go to a concert alone, you spend more time listening to the music and less time worrying about everything else going on around you.
  • Sing karaoke. Be bold! Pick a spot you never go to (that way you won’t miss it if you can’t show your face there again), and sing your heart out to a bunch of strangers. If you can do this, you can do pretty much anything.
  • People watch. Go to a public place, like a park or a shopping centre, sit back, and enjoy the show. People watching is always interesting, often hilarious, sometimes sweet, and every once in a while, it can even make you give some of the stuff you do a second thought, too.
  • Indulge in some selfies. OK, as a general rule selfies should probably be taken sparingly, but every once in a while, it’s healthy to get dressed in an outfit you love and shamelessly take photos of yourself that you actually like. Let yourself keep clicking until you get it right. No one is there to judge you, except maybe your dog.
  • Complete a project you’ve been putting off. Make yourself go to a coffee shop, buckle down, and work. Update your resume, put together a portfolio, finish your novel, apply to a new job or course, whatever. Just do it!
  • Challenge your mind. Complete a crossword, sudoku, or, if you’re feeling ambitious, a Rubik’s Cube. If you finish them all by yourself, you get total bragging rights instead of having to share them with a partner.
  • Take a hike. Spend some time with mother nature and see how the two of you get along when no one else is around. Stop and smell the roses, watch the sun set, embrace the quiet.
  • Get experimental in the kitchen. If you try out new recipes on your own and mess up, the only hungry, disappointed person you have to deal with is yourself. You can work on perfecting the dish until it’s just right — then serve up a flawless result the next time you’re with friends, and act like it was your first try.
  • Lay on your back and marvel at your complete and utter smallness in comparison to the rest of the universe.
  • Try a new workout. Sometimes certain workouts (read: Zumba, Barre Move, anything dance-related) can be a little bit embarrassing to learn in front of other people. Master one of these fitness skills alone, or at least work on them enough so that when you’re in a class or doing it in front of your significant other, you look like you know what you’re doing . . . sort of.
  • Go shopping. Sometimes when you’re on a shopping mission, having other people with you can slow you down or make you feel rushed. It’s the worst when you’re trying to be thorough to find the best deal or the perfect pair of jeans, while the person you’re with is tapping their foot by the door.
  • Have an Unplugged day. Shut down your phone, turn off the WiFi and spend a day totally uninterrupted.
  • Take the longest, hottest bath of your life. Turn on some soothing music and enjoy a long soak with no fear of unwelcome interruptions.

 

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

A, x (1)