Things You Should Know If Your Partner Has Anxiety

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Hello loves, ❤

Does your partner have anxiety?

The below points are great little reminders for you keep on hand ❤

1. If you’re going to go to battle, know what you’re fighting against.

Anxiety is a battle between your mind and your mind, literally. And sometimes the battle can get heinous, especially when it steps outside of your mind and into your body as a panic attack. Anxiety and panic attacks do get better with time, but it is a condition that your partner lives with forever. Loving someone with anxiety can be difficult. You need to look within yourself and determine if this is something you are capable of doing. Don’t feel ashamed if you can’t, either. There are some things that people simply cannot handle.

2. Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and you have to accept this.

Once a panic attack begins, there is nothing you can do to stop it. It has to run its course. With anxiety, there are ways to stop it, but again, sometimes your partner just has a bad day and can’t reach their methods and thought-stopping processes in time. I would encourage you to be supportive, patient, and loving during these episodes. Often times, people with anxiety can recognize when their thoughts are going dark, but at the same time, they may not be able to pull themselves out of it before the point of no return. Do not become frustrated because you cannot help. You help us the most by just being there.

3. Learn everything you can about your partner’s condition.

I cannot emphasize this enough. You will have a difficult time communicating with your partner if you cannot understand what anxiety is or what it feels like. Look up people talking about it, for example. Read everything you can about the condition. And even so, some people end up in counseling themselves to try to understand how to help themselves deal with their partner’s anxiety. If you make the effort to understand, your partner will appreciate it more than you know.

4. The worst thing you can do is shame us about our anxiety.

There isn’t a more horrible feeling in the world than someone telling us to “just get over it” or to “just relax.” These statements show a blatant misunderstanding of the nature of anxiety. Believe me, if it was that simple, we would have done it already. We know our anxiety makes everyone around us feel upset or frustrated about it, but if we could help it, we would. Would you tell a depressed person to just stop being sad?

5. We know how much of a burden our anxiety is, and we do not need a reminder.

This is not to say that you can never express frustration or anger about your partner’s anxiety, but there is a way to say it nicely and in as much of a loving way as possible. If you say it in a negative way, then you’ve triggered or increased the ever-present worries. Sometimes, in the moment, things slip out or aren’t meant to be said. But these are extremely damaging to us, like getting kicked when you’re down. If you want to speak about it, be as gentle as you can. And no, tough love doesn’t feel like love to us.

6. Having a backup plan will make your partner feel a little easier when out in public.

Anxiety and panic attacks wait for no one. These things can happen in public. Anxiety attacks when it wants and where it wants. What happens if you’re on a double date, for example, and your partner suddenly has an anxiety attack? Develop plans with your partner about what to do when these situations happen, like having a signal or key word to indicate that things are heading downhill, and an escape plan to get out of there just in case. This way, we don’t have to have anxiety about our anxiety, which can lead to said anxiety, if you followed me there.

7. Do not speak about your partner’s anxiety unless explicitly given permission to do so.

Mental illness is still very much stigmatized in our culture. We are seen as crazy nuts, or people who just let their mind run wild and don’t bother to control it. One of the more interesting judgments that have been passed upon me is that I have no reason to have anxiety, since I have a roof over my head and clothes to wear. I lack nothing, what is there to worry about?

Mental illness does not discriminate. The last thing I want is for your family and friends to pass judgment or alter their opinion of me because you told them about my anxiety, the exception being when it’s highly visible, such as a panic attack.

8. Sometimes you will be the trigger. Do not take this personally.

No, our anxiety will not magically skip over you just because we are dating you. If anything, being in a relationship adds to the anxiety. There are constant questions about how to reply to your text message asking what we are doing, what happens if we upset you, what does our future look like, and so on. But do not blame yourself in these situations. Do not feel guilty about any anxiety or panic attacks that stem from you. Anxiety is something we have to live with and deal with, in all aspects of our life.

9. Managing anxiety takes time and practice. Patience is greatly appreciated.

While I cannot speak for everyone, I regularly attend therapy where I talk about my most recent anxious moments and learn about cognitive behavioral therapy, a set of techniques used to manage negative thought processes, the very foundation of anxiety itself. Therapy is difficult and challenging, because you have to repeatedly wrestle with your anxiety to learn how to win. We get a lot of homework from our counselors as well. It is hard to cope with failure because perfectionism is in our blood. Be supportive of your partner both when they progress and regress. All battles are easier when you can face them with a partner.

10. Never forget that we love you.

Sometimes anxiety can evolve into rage or depression. It’s a shape-shifter; it takes on a lot of different forms. But in the midst of a bad episode or a difficult time, do not forget that we love you, we care about you, and we appreciate you more than you know. We appreciate you for standing by us when we are at our worst. Our supporters motivate us to keep growing and changing when things seem impossible. And having someone there who genuinely is interested in your well-being and happiness makes the whole “managing” thing easier. Thank you for everything that you do. We love you.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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The Only Way A Relationship Works The Second Time

The Only Way A Relationship Works The Second Time

Hello loves, ❤

Have you ever broken up with a partner for a short or even long period of time but then find yourself giving them another chance?

It will only work the second time if you trust the other person has changed. If you believe them when they say they are never going to hurt you again. If your head, and not just your heart, thinks getting back together is a good idea. If you have faith you can actually make things work this time around.

It will only work the second time if you fix the issues that caused the breakup in the first place. If you discuss what went wrong and figure out a way to move forward without repeating the mistakes of the past. If you are both willing to make alterations, because if you enter the same toxic relationship you were originally apart of, then it is going to end the same way.

It will only work the second time if you are willing to release the grudges you were holding for so long. If you are able to forgive each other — and mean it. If you both agree to leave the past in the past. If you never bring up ancient mistakes in arguments in order to make a point. If you focus on what you could build together in the future instead of who messed up in the past.

It will only work the second time if you are willing to admit your mistakes. If you are going to take responsibility for your actions. If you are going to say sorry for all the times you hurt them, even if it was unintentional. If you are going to act like adults.

It will only work the second time if you are serious about spending forever together. If you aren’t going to part ways at the first sign of trouble. If you decide that, this time, you are going to work as a team. You are going to stop viewing each other as competition and realize you are on the same side. You are going to fix your problems instead of running away from them.

It will only work the second time if you both want the same things from the future. If you can imagine making the relationship work for more than a few months. If you both agree on whether you want to be exclusive, whether you want to get married, and whether you want to have kids.

It will only work the second time if you are willing to give up your options and abandon the single life. If you are okay with the idea of commitment. If you are ready to settle down. If you are ready to give this other person everything they should have gotten from you in the beginning.

It will only work the second time if you were miserable without each other — for the right reasons. You weren’t miserable because you hated being single. You were miserable because they were your best friend, they were the highlight of your days, they were the best thing that ever happened to you and you hate yourself for letting them get away.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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On Your Worst Days

On Your Worst Days

Hello loves, ❤

I know it seems like things will never get better. And I know that you feel like you are stuck in your current situation. Life has seemed like more of a battle than a blessing lately, and every time you finally seem to make a breakthrough, life only seems to knock you back down. These are the days that can either destroy or define you, and it is up to you to decide which path you take.

I hope you don’t let it destroy you.

I hope you get back up every time the world expects you to just give up and stay stationary. I hope you never feel like you won’t get any further than you are right now because you have no idea how much more you will grow in just a few short years. You will meet people whose impact will stay with you for years, and though some of these memories will be negative, you will learn how to transform that negativity into exactly the motivation you need to move forward. You will learn what love really is and exactly what it is not. You will finally understand the value of being alone and all of the joy that only you can bring to yourself. You will learn to start living for yourself.

None of this will be easy, and I don’t think change will ever become easy for you or for anyone. The more things change, the more unpredictable life becomes and with that unpredictability comes the fear of the unknown. You have always been so afraid, but eventually, you will learn to not only tell yourself to be brave but to truly live that way. You will have your moments where your fear may get the best of you, but the older you get, the more resilient you will become. You will begin to understand the power of your own mind and your ability to either make a bad day better or worse. And one day I hope you will always choose to make it better.

Things are definitely going to get better. It is all in how you perceive what is happening around you.

You can either let your circumstances consume you, or you can use them as motivation to get yourself to where you truly want to be. Your career, your money, your love life, all of these things are ever-changing and therefore, you must learn to live with the fact that life will not and cannot stay the same. If everything around you is changing, you have to learn to adapt along with it or else you may find yourself crumbling under the weight of all of the things you cannot control.

You are going to meet so many different people throughout your life. Some of these people are meant to stick around for a while and others are just here for a moment; regardless of how long you get to spend with someone, know that their impact on your life is not determined by the amount of time you knew them. You can spend years with a person and never truly know them and minutes with others who seem like home. Learning how to let go is one of life’s biggest challenges, but the more you encounter these types of situations, the more you will truly understand the value of the phrase, “If you love someone, let them go.”

Love comes in so many different forms. You will find romantic love, and you will lose it. You will think time and time again that this time will be the time that everyone always talks about only to realize you are just not at that time yet. It’s okay. With each new person you meet and you lose, you will learn exactly what you want out of a relationship, and one day, I am confident that you will meet someone beyond your wildest expectations. You have already met some truly remarkable people, and if it hasn’t been any of them, just imagine who it is you have waiting for you. They are waiting for you, too.

You will form so many new friendships, and your heart will grow with the realization of how many more people like you there are out there. With these beautiful new relationships forming, you will also experience what it is like to lose those who you thought would always be by your side. We are not the same people we were when we were 18. Life changes, and so do we, and none of us should shame each other if that growth pulls us in different directions. We are not all meant to be the same people, and we have to learn to accept that. Sometimes these “break-ups” will hurt worse than romantic ones because so often we forget that our friendships need as much work as our romantic relationships. Sometimes you will be able to repair these ties, and other times, you will learn that often the best thing two people can do for each other is to simply just move on. Moving on doesn’t have to be ugly; it is just the acceptance of the fact that not everything we love is meant to last forever.

Today may not be your best day, and tomorrow might not be either, but I promise you that one day, you will wake up and realize this is the beginning of everything you have ever wanted.

Please don’t give up on your dreams and the life you always wanted for one that feels comfortable or seems like what you deserve. You do not deserve the horrible things that you think you do, and I hope one day you can truly believe that. It is up to you whether you want to move forward or stand still; but know that if you choose to stay exactly where you are, you will never know how far you could have gone.

It is always worth the risk of failure to work towards all that you have ever wanted. You never know what tomorrow could bring, so please don’t close yourself off to the future. The difficult days can be crippling, but the beautiful days are worth more than you could ever imagine. I promise you that.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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90,000 Views, Yay!

90,000 Views

Hello loves, ❤

Happy Tuesday 🙂 It’s Tuesday morning here in Sydney, Australia. Hope every one had a lovely weekend – I’ve posted about my weekend in My Weekend Be Like This Tag – be sure to check that out ❤

Some great things happened over the weekend – MY STATS JUMPED THROUGH THE ROOF & WE GOT 90,000 VIEWS! I am so grateful & so happy about this ❤

WOW! WOW! WOW! I am so grateful for all of you lovely people that have gotten me to where I am today in the blogging world 🙂

The friends I have made on this platform I will be forever grateful for, you are all so lovely, supportive, friendly & always say the right things 🙂

Blogging is like entering another world – Blogging is such a good release for me bc I do have a lot that constantly runs through my mind.

I am so happy I took the leap 2 years ago & started blogging 🙂 Best decision I have ever made 🙂

Thank you to the lovely people below who have re-blogged my work:

I have so many people emailing me & asking if I am going Youtube ❤ Now this is a big thing to jump to but I do like a challenge, I might give it ago but there is a lot of things to take into consideration 🙂

I love that you all email me so much – I love having e-pals ❤ I love how much you all care about me & also feel that you can confide in me also ❤ Your love & support does not go unnoticed ❤

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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