Hello loves, ❤
Anxiety tells me people don’t want to stay but feel they have to out of a sense of obligation.
Anxiety tells me they wish they could leave but they are afraid of what it will do to me.
Anxiety tells me people aren’t choosing you, they just feel sorry for you.
Anxiety tells me my best friend might leave soon.
Anxiety tells me the only reason they are answering is because they’re polite.
Anxiety tells me everyone waiting for the right moment to exit with grace.
It tells me I’m a burden.
That I’m weird.
That I’m unwanted.
Unloved.
Crazy.
Anxiety tells me I need to keep apologizing.
Anxiety tells me I need to overcompensate so people have a reason to stay.
Anxiety tells me they aren’t answering because they don’t like me.
That they are deliberately ignoring me because of something I’ve done or said wrong.
Then anxiety reminds me of everything in the past that could apply to that scenario.
Anxiety tells me that one-word response is them hoping I go away.
So I pull away slightly.
Anxiety tells me when they really get to know me, they’re going to hate me.
Anxiety tries to teach me to hate myself.
Anxiety fixates upon my flaws saying if I were different maybe I’d be happier.
Anxiety tells me this is my fault.
Anxiety adds fuel to a fire that is self-doubt and criticism.
Anxiety tells me I’m not good enough.
Smart enough.
Pretty enough.
Normal enough.
Successful enough.
Anxiety tells me I’m going to fail.
That everything I’ve worked for I’m going to lose.
That everyone I love will leave.
Anxiety tells me the love I have to give is not enough.
Then I wake up the next day still tired trying to counter that voice that haunts me.
Anxiety reminds me of everything I’ve done wrong in my life.
Anxiety beats me up and punishes me for mistakes I can’t forgive myself for.
Anxiety does not let me just move on.
Anxiety tells me every worse case scenario will come true.
Every worst fear will come to life.
Anxiety makes me feel like I’m always waiting. And I don’t even know what I’m waiting for I’m just uneasy.
I’m always comparing myself to someone and falling short.
Anxiety tells me I’ll never be good enough.
So I try so incredibly hard.
And most people are impressed.
Everyone but me.
I’ll never be a good enough friend, sister, daughter, girlfriend.
Anxiety tells me I need to fix something that isn’t a problem but I make it one.
Anxiety makes living in the moment hard. I’m constantly dwelling on the past and afraid of the future.
Anxiety tells me to hate myself for this. And as I break down and cry alone for things I can’t understand, anxiety knocks me when I’m already on my knees saying I deserve this.
But then everyone once in a while I come across someone whose voice speaks louder than doubts and questioning that goes on in my head. Anxiety might tell me, they’re here because they feel bad. But then those people counter those thoughts with a hug, a kind word, a conversation. And I realize anxiety might be forever a part of your life but there are people who want to be too.
Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤
I can completely relate. Thanks for writing out what I was thinking!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am so happy to hear you can relate ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
😞😞😞😞😞😞 I love this, and the positive words at the end.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only one
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are most certainly not the only one ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was thinking of you when i was adding my poem Not Giving Up On Your Love to my poetry blog. ❤
https://gaillovesgodspoetry.com/2018/05/16/not-giving-up-on-your-love/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oo, I am so happy you thought of me – Can’t wait to read this ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLike
A lot of what you stated is true for me but I never realised it was anxiety. I always thought I just lacked confidence in myself. Thank you for helping me realise they go hand in hand.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hoping the positive things become louder and louder for you. Anxiety is a horrible thing to live with.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
My depression/bipolar tells me the same things! It’s amazing how destructive that can be. It’s exhausting trying to counter all that negative/destructive stuff in my mind but if I don’t try I know it will destroy me. Thank you for writing this, I’m sorry you have to deal with it too but it lets others know they are not alone. That helps a lot. You do great work here in letting others know that they are not alone.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I am so happy to hear that I am not alone in this ❤
LikeLike
This. I love this so much. I’ve been struggling so hard lately. My anxiety just keeps getting worse and worse and when I reach out to people, no one understands what it’s like to have anxiety. Thank you for this post ❤
-Amber
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are most welcome – You are not alone, I can assure you that ❤ Always here if you need to chat ❤
LikeLike
Thank you! I really needed to be reminded today that I am not the only one struggling. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am happy that this came to you when you needed it the most ❤
LikeLike
Although anxiety can be deeply hated, and we end up resenting ourselves for having it or experiencing it; there is a bright side to it. It is not only that people want to stay too, but its also an incredibly huge door for self exploration, and growth. Imagine nourishing a deep and small voice in your head, one that can debate anxious thoughts and win. It is a process, a life long one, but the continuous outcome is healing, not just for yourself but for those who want to stay.
Great post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I couldn’t agree more w/ you ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for the relatable post! Anxiety is so difficult to do deal with sometimes because sometimes I mistake its voice for my own.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I am so happy to hear that you can relate ❤
Yes, I agree with you ❤ I get scared of the anxiety voice 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
You really don’t have a full grasp on what anxiety is, until you’re living it for yourself. Lovely post.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Yes – It’s okay to try to understand what people are going through but until you experience first hand thats when you truly understand what it feels like 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Awesome post! The end is very true! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for re-blogging ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for this post…it helped me to reflect on some of the stuff I’ve been dealing with.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I am so happy this blog gave you the opportunity to reflect ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people