Hello loves, ❤

There are going to be days when you can’t even stand the sight of yourself in the mirror. Every time you catch your reflection, you will only feel disgusted. You put so much effort into your appearance only to be met with an image looking back at you that you cannot recognize. You will wonder why anyone would ever be attracted to you and would choose to be with you when this is what they would be choosing.

These are not the days that will define your life.

Living in a society where so much pressure is put on everyone to fulfill outlandishly unrealistic beauty standards can become so exhausting. No matter how much weight you lose or times you dye your hair and change your lipstick, you are still told that you are not beautiful. I don’t know why the word beautiful has to be synonymous with the word perfect because some of the most beautiful things in nature happen to also be some of the most unique. If we are told time and time again that we must look a certain way or we will never be attractive, it becomes almost impossible to silence that voice within. It becomes deafening.

You want to be attractive enough to get attention, but not bold enough to stand out. You need to say all of the right things, but you can’t have too much of an opinion if you still want people to like you. It is like our society is trying to mold us into one-dimensional paper dolls without realizing the value of all of our many facets and curves.

We have to do better.

We have to teach ourselves and our children that our value goes so much deeper than what anyone can see on the outside. We need to learn to accept that not everyone fits into the cookie-cutter world we have been conditioned to want to live in and that those of us who choose to be unique still deserve a place among the beautiful.

We are all so beautiful.

It doesn’t matter if you aren’t a size zero and blonde or if your smile is made up of crooked teeth. Who you are is not defined by who you appear to be. Your crooked teeth have character, and your body is strong and healthy and ready to get you through the difficult challenges we all face every day. We should all be allowed to feel comfortable in our own skin without feeling guilty about it. There shouldn’t even be a question of whether or not you look nice today when you look in the mirror; we should always know that we do.

It has become so easy to convince ourselves that we are not worthy of love until we are able to fulfill all of the ridiculous beauty ideals society has burdened us with. No one should feel like they have to diet the week leading up to a date so that their date will be more attracted to them. No one should have to start dressing in ways that make them uncomfortable in order to finally be paid attention to. No one should have to deal with any of this.

Our world has taught us that outer beauty will lead to happiness. While I do think that “looking good” can help you feel good, I don’t believe that the secret to living a fulfilling life lies in our dress size. Your body is just a body; it is not your mind or your spirit or your soul.

When was the last time you really looked at a person and saw them for all of the magic they have been holding within?

I think we all need to start believing in the power of our own magic and with that, we will finally see the true depth of our beauty.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

DYH Signature

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49 Comments

  1. You must learn to love yourself first before you love anyone else. This is the key. Everything else revolves around this. If you love yourself you will be confident in yourself and would be more happier. No one should define you. Life is too short to look at outer appearance all the time, as we all wrinkle and age with time. True beauty that is timeless is what someone digs down deep for, that true beauty is within you and everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I needed to read this today – this is such a fantastic post, you really have said it so perfectly. Me and the mirror have never had a good relationship, and me and the scales are even worse, yet all of this self-criticism and self-loathing is so dangerous and destructive. As a society I think we need to learn a lot more self-acceptance, not to mention love for ourselves and how we look. Brilliant post! 🙂
    Caz x

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Another thought… what is your opinion about Instagram? I think it’s very harmful which is why I avoid it like the plague. I have an account but every time I use it I end up feeling worse afterwards. 😓

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Good question, Hilary 🙂

      I had a 6 month break in 2017 as it truly had my self esteem at a low, watching skinny girls drink ‘skinny teas’ & they are so skinny.
      Watching everyones ‘perfect’ lives & then you feeling down why your life isn’t ‘perfect’

      I came back at the end of last year on to Instagram & did a big un-following spree (following 2000 people down to 500)

      I have been deactivated for about 5-6 weeks AGAIN as I felt myself fall into the trap again about ‘perfect lives’ & ‘skinny people’

      I might do a post on this bc this is a BIG topic ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for replying to me Anita ❤️ yes, this is totally relatable. I refuse to buy stuff online so I haven’t been tempted to buy these skinny teas that have been advertised on the web. But yes, seeing people’s perfect lives makes me feel bad about myself too.

        I cannot even leave the house anymore without comparing myself to someone else. Yesterday my husband and I were at a restaurant and I was so miserable because I saw a bunch of people I envied with perfect families. It really killed the joy. Then I started to get really frustrated with my life and how slow the progress has been.

        Instagram is the WORST platform for self-esteem. Unless you are promoting your blog on there, I would suggest only using it to promote new posts and not check it. Maybe use the desktop version instead of the mobile app?

        Liked by 1 person

  4. This was literally me yesterday. Looking in the mirror all I saw was an ugly and unattractive blob. I didn’t even want to go out yesterday and even worse I ran into someone I knew. The whole time I was extremely self conscious and had a hard time focussing on the conversation because I was too worried about how I looked.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s nice that you are documenting the journey on a daily basis. Looking back at your writings is a good way to reflect on your journey and help others in the process. It’s a win-win 😄

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Why they say ??….
    Their surroundings and society teach them. If we do an experiment that :
    If we put a white child in the black society and the ambience is same around him. People teach him that Black is beautiful. Then certainly, he make a stereotype that who is black, is beautiful. It is also same in vice versa.
    Therefore, our people, our surroundings teaches us that what is beautiful. If the atmosphere around children would such as like your blog, then only they could understand that THE WHOLE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL !!..
    Neither Black nor White, All are beautiful !

    Liked by 1 person

  6. What a great content you wrote !!
    That’s wonderful !!..
    About the post, I would like to say :
    This is a stereotype of the society that If the person is beautiful by outside, he/she considered beautiful. In my opinion, It isn’t true at all. Then who is beautiful ??…
    Black people say, “Black is beautiful”. Blondes say, “White is beautiful.”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great post! Very inspiring and definitely an eye opener for sure. I love when you said “I don’t know why the word beautiful has to be synonymous to the word perfect”.Wow! I was once that girl who thought I had to always be “perfect” to feel beautiful or desirable. I thought being perfect would make me feel better about myself and boy was I wrong. Trying to be perfect made me hate myself even more. I believe that the most beautiful people in the world are those who embrace their imperfections boldly and confidently! Thank you so much for this post!

    Liked by 4 people

  8. “We have to do better.
    We have to teach ourselves and our children that our value goes so much deeper than what anyone can see on the outside.”…..This is all I have been saying for the past few months! 💕

    Liked by 6 people

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