Hello loves, ❤

I am slowly learning I cannot spend all of my free time taking care of others because I matter too. It’s not fair to neglect my own emotions because I feel like other people are more important. Because I think they deserve help more than I do. I need to stop thinking so low of myself and love myself.

I have enough problems of my own. I cannot spend my time worrying about everyone else because I would never get a moment of rest.

I pride myself on being a good friend, a good daughter, a good girlfriend. If someone genuinely needs my help, I will do my best to provide it, but I cannot sacrifice my own success and sanity in order to help someone out of a trench they dug themselves.

I cannot neglect my mental health to continually assist someone whose problems honestly have nothing to do with me.

As much as I love my friends and family members, there are some things they need to handle on their own. I cannot always be there to rescue them. They are strong enough to figure out a solution without me.

I am not trying to be mean. I am not leaving my loved ones to rot alone. I will do everything possible to help them — to an extent. I am not going to empty my bank account or drive myself toward insanity to save someone who is perfectly capable of saving themselves. I am not going to let love make me stupid.

I am slowly learning I am not a superhero. I am not required to help every person who calls me with complaints. I am not obligated to say yes to every request.

It is okay for me to decide there is nothing I can do to help a situation and leave the person to figure things out on their own. I am allowed to focus on myself instead of concerning myself with the problems of others.

I am slowly learning to mind my own business. When I think I am helping someone, I might actually be hurting them. If I pull them out of trouble too many times, they might become dependent on me. They might lose their independence. They might struggle to survive when I’m not in the room to hold their hand.

I am slowly learning to monitor how often I reach out to help others. I am trying my best not to feel guilty on the days when I am too busy to answer a phone call. I am trying my hardest not to feel bad about the fact that I need to take care of myself before I take care of anyone else.

You come first!

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

DYH Signature

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44 Comments

  1. Hello Friend, I’ve been away for similar reasons taking care of myself and helping myself get through. I love the caring side of my personality but we all must learn to be selfish – even if only for survival. I started to ignore a few triggers at the start of this year which could have easily escalated, a little break and a change of routine massively helped.
    You are always ready to share your love, light and wisdom – I thank you for that but never forget to take care of yourself 🧡

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  3. Excellent point! I used to put everyone else first too but I eventually learned that I matter. I still care about others and I’m happy to help them when they ask and it’s reasonable. I’m frequently watching friends’ pets etc but I know when I need to say no. Great reminder!!

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  4. Pingback: Caring For Myself – Half ARSE-TIST

  6. Very wise perception. Situations come to people as a reflection of who they are. These same situations guide them to who they could be. Rescue is not always the solution for these souls as often they do not learn through their experiences this way and do it all over again. It is good to know when to legitimately step in though, and when.

    I think you’re doing your best here. Life is all we are juggling. Where should our energy go? Where will it be the most useful and progressive. Most of the time we don’t know. That’s why I generally suggest linking with Source. The Inner Voice knows the wayz through the maze.

    I wish you amazing outcomes in life!

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  10. Good on you! There are some wise words in your post and I am working on the same issues. No solutions yet. But work in progress is better than denial. Sending you good energy for a boost of self-love and self-esteem

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  11. I am a firm believer in trusting other people to be capable of fixing their own problems. This is how they learn they are actually capable of doing so, and don’t need someone else to save them. Being saved constantly results in them never learning that all important lesson.
    😉

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  12. Thanks for sharing this.
    I lost a friend while I was recovering from my hospitalisation. Not sure if the emphasis should be on ‘lost’ OR ‘friend’ really.
    I wasn’t available to pull him out of his latest bad situation and so he decided I was a terrible friend and plastered that about amongst my other friends.
    Usually I would bend over backwards for this person but in my condition I just couldn’t help, I had to put myself first this time.
    I decided to settle myself that it was a huge shame… for him.
    Blessings to you xxx

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  16. Pingback: Learning to Love Yourself FIRST! – Coffee with Carly

  18. I needed this!!! I pride myself in being the friend that all my friends want to come and talk about their problems to, but sometimes I need to focus on myself! It’s nice to know that someone else feels the same way. The balance is so essential for mental health. Great post!!

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