I’m Sorry If My Overthinking Makes Me Difficult To Love

Hello loves, ❤

You could send me a text message with only one or two words and I will still overthink what your sentence meant. You could smile at me from across a crowded room and I will overthink what the look meant. I wish I knew what other people were thinking because I spend so much of my time trying to read their minds.

I’m sorry if my overthinking makes me difficult to love. I’m not trying to cause drama where none exists. I’m only trying to protect my heart.

I don’t want to be the person who gets blindsided when their partner cheats. I don’t want to overlook the red flags. I don’t want to be caught off guard. I would rather see the betrayal coming. I would rather know what is waiting for me down the road.

Since I’m so worried about the what ifs, I pay too much attention to detail. I will notice the slight change in your tone and instead of assuming that you must be tired or had a stressful day at work, I will assume that you are mad at me. That you are hiding something from me. That you want nothing to do with me.

I come across as sensitive because I make a big deal out of things that shouldn’t have been given a second thought. You will make a bad joke, and instead of brushing it off, I will overthink what the words meant. The tiniest problem will snowball into me wondering whether you secretly can’t stand me.

I’m always ready for things to go wrong. I’m always on edge, observing the people around me to prepare for what happens next.

Even if a relationship is going perfectly well, I will make a list in my head of all the ways it could fall apart. I could get ghosted. I could get cheated on. I could get dumped. I could have my heart shattered and spend years trying to jam the broken pieces back into place.

When the world brings me too much happiness at once, I get suspicious. I assume something horrible is about to happen to balance out my emotions.

When I’m in the shower or driving in my car, I will have arguments with you inside of my head. I will imagine all of the things you might say to me when we talk for real. I might accidentally get mad at you, even though you haven’t done anything wrong yet. I might make myself more paranoid than I have any right to be.

I’m sorry if I become quiet after the smallest thing goes wrong. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m always overreacting. I’m sorry if my overthinking makes me difficult to love.

I’ve been trying to follow my head instead of my heart because I have been hurt before and I’m scared it’s going to happen again. I’m scared you are going to leave. I’m scared you are going to break me apart.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

DYH Signature

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31 thoughts on “I’m Sorry If My Overthinking Makes Me Difficult To Love

  1. When one has been hurt by partner she becomes too careful with her next partner that everything needs to make sense.Too scared to ignore one’s faults and too scared for blaming yourself wishing you would have done something sooner

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I used to have this problem with overthinking as well. I know it’s a hard habit to break, but I think when you’re in a secure relationship where you trust your partner it helps. I don’t have the same issues now of second guessing but when you first start dating someone it’s hard not to.

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  3. There was a time when I had a lot of conversations in my head. I know what that is like. As odd as it seems, the way to peace in this process is to shut the voices down, refuse to engage in the inner conversation. There is one exception though.

    Somewhere in the mix is your one true voice. This is your heart and soul speaking. It alone has the answers you are seeking, because it is linked to and apart of the Universal fabric.

    Believe it or not, the varied conversations are not remaining in our heads, they are subtly leaking in and leaking out. I’ve found this with different individuals who practice these conversations. You may be telepathically sharing and taking in things that are not necessarily reality, but become reality due to our thoughts.

    I had a very difficult situation with one person regarding this, but it was instructive. I kept asking why the conversations we had in private were becoming open knowledge. At first there was no answer until we came to the inner conversations this person was having. The individual was telepathically sharing.

    It is all very interesting how the mind and soul works. It’s best to practice positivity and not worry. It’s best do deal with that which only lies on the surface. It’s only when we get down to the place of communing with our soul, that we have the ability to know what everyone else thinks. This is because we have become an empath.

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  4. I used to do this a lot myself. Then I realized it was a waste of energy and I had been through much worse than just about all of these fears. I have had people mad at me, I have people get in arguments and criticize me; I have had them leave. What you imagine about it is always way worse than the actuality. 😉

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  5. This is so damn accurate! I really felt this way most of time in the past! Then, I realized that I shouldn’t think too much. Overthinking, somehow, creates problems that aren’t there in the first place. And I already have enough. Thank you for this! You’re really awesome! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

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