Overthinking Ruins Relationships

Hello loves, ❤

I am the worlds most craziest overthinker! I can admit that! I am not in denial.

I will rewrite texts twenty times before sending. I will spend way too much time focusing on a single sentence.

My overthinking ruins relationships before they even begin, because you never get to know the real me. I censor myself. I carefully plan out what I think you’d want to hear instead of being authentic and typing the first thing that pops into my mind. I would rather impress you with a fake version of myself than risk acting spontaneous.

I am guilty of trying too hard. I will overthink what I should wear if there is even the smallest chance you will call me beautiful. I will overthink how long I should wait to respond to your latest text. I will overthink what it means when you say something as simple as hey.

Even after we have known each other for a while, I will have trouble believing it’s the truth when you claim to care about me. Even though I should probably take your words at face value, I will wonder whether you’re only acting nice to spare my feelings. Or whether you’re secretly trying to get something out of me.

I’m not the best person to date, because I have trouble making basic decisions. I can’t randomly choose where to eat or which movie to see without thinking through the options in detail. I would rather have you do the decision making to take the pressure off of me.

I overthink everything instead of enjoying the moment. I’m too worried about what is going to happen next to think about how happy I am now.

My overthinking ruins relationships because when everything is going fine, I destroy the peace. I accidentally cause drama. You will do something small, something meaningless, and I will make a big deal out of it.

I will see a text on your phone from a name I don’t recognize and assume you’re cheating on me. I will notice you looking at another girl and assume you don’t find me attractive anymore.

My overthinking annoys everyone because it makes me seem needy. No one wants to repeat how much they care about me every five seconds to stop me from having another meltdown. No one wants to explain how they didn’t mean for their tone to sound rude or how they didn’t realize something so small would set me off.

I wish I could stop myself. I wish I could calm my mind. But I have no control over the part of me that overthinks.

I am always going to be the person who pays close attention to the words you’re using and the expressions you’re making. I am always going to jump to conclusions. I am always going to think too much.

I need to find someone who understands that there will be times when I need their reassurance. Someone who doesn’t get mad at me for feeling insecure. Someone who loves me, even though there will be moments where I doubt that’s the truth.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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Discovering Your Happiness

Hello, my name is Anita, I am a 23 year old Croatian girl who loves reading self development books & following others blogs. Having said that, I have decided to create a site that consist of sharing my hobbies daily blogs, daily affirmations, healthy recipes, DIY projects, places I travel to etc. Discovering Your Happiness has a goal of sharing my happiness with you to help you discover your happiness also.

44 thoughts on “Overthinking Ruins Relationships”

  1. I know how you feel I overthink overthinking. My boyfriend says he wants to write a piece that is called living and loving an overthinker. Have a look at my blog it might be of some interest to you

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We all go have that overpowering voice in our head. I was just like that I have managed for the most part to silence the insecurities within me.. it’s a constant struggle remembering to catch myself before I start over thinking certain situations and scenarios. I’m starting to write about how I’ve overcome that and many other self destructive behaviors I would exhibit.
    I don’t ever want to revert to anxious/panic behavior…. it is not a way to live! Even better it is not a way to live a HAPPY fulfilled life.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh! Well, i think it’s cute! Hahha! I just have a penchant for people who accept themselves.

        But i wld be happy to talk about it. Maybe i’ll blog about it soon. It is a brain configuration, essentially. It may not be healthy, though.stressful. Look up cognitive distortions so u will know how far is rational 😉 i talk about it a little in my blog about depression, if ur interested.

        But again, accept it n appreciate it. It dsnt matter if people do. THEIR APPRECIATION OF LACK OF IT IS NORMALLY ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS ABOUT THEMSELVES, than how u are 😉


        Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for such a great post! I used to be an overthinking, maybe I still am (lol). But I have found why my overthinking was getting in the way everything I wanted to do, it brought me so much anxiety that at some point I discovered anxiety is a wonderful feeling if I’m not taking a negative aspect of unknown or unchangeable future and the worst was the expectations from overthinking, because in the end overthinking was all about my expectations or ideal that I wanted to achieve without even trying.

    Coping with the fact that I do because I want instead of hoping something in return made me feel alive, being able to help without expecting anything back, and I felt really great by doing that, being able to think what I want to do instead of what we could do, and when they want something I can just tag along living the moment. Maybe I got in love with the surprises of life we have on daily basis. After joining 7cups as a listener I saw how many people were overthinking about so many situations that I couldn’t believe was even possible, after starting a blog I found my love, a self-care by helping others in need. In the end, my best answer to overthinking is loving who we are, accepting who we are and want to be. Thank you for writing a part of my life!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ah, I understand this so much. I am also an overthinker and I don’t know how to control it so much, I guess it comes from a sign of not being able to trust people? IDK. But I am totally trying to calm that down for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Constantly worrying, overthinking, anxiety… no matter how you say it a lot of us have it. This post really hits home. We just keep trying day by day even minute by minute to move ahead. (((HUGS)))

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I deff can relate . I over think way to much about just about anything when it comes to dating and not just texting my first real reactions . And then I retext things over and over before I actually send .

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Someone who will know that it is because you are someone who cares so deeply, loves so strong, and wants to be ahead of anything that would harm, discomfort, or simply discourage those you care about. He will lovingly remind you of these things and more. Every strength comes with challenges to keep it strong… and growing stronger with every challenge! ❤ I know someone who already loves you like this… and He"s working on bringing someone so amazing that you will forget every waiting day with the joy that will amaze you more and more every day! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Without a doubt… I have a habit of overthinking… I’ve decided it’s not a flaw… I’d say it’s a positive because you’ve thought of every single outcome in a matter of seconds, so you’re always prepared for the good and bad… x

        Liked by 1 person

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