When You Don’t Love Yourself, Relationships Are Hard To Keep

Hello loves, ❤

You are able to love someone else even if you haven’t learned to love yourself yet. The problem isn’t with giving love. It’s with accepting love.

When you don’t love yourself, you will have trouble believing your person when they tell you how much they care. You will doubt every nice word they have to say about you because you struggle to realize your worth. You don’t see what they see in you. You wonder whether they are lying to make you feel better about yourself or whether they really do have strong feelings for you and are going to end up disappointed once they learn the truth about how annoying you are.

When you don’t love yourself, you avoid getting attached because you assume everyone is going to end up leaving you behind. You don’t want to let yourself believe there is a chance they might stay. You don’t want to lead yourself toward disappointment. Instead, you jump to the worst case scenario. You assume there is no way someone is going to stick around once they are around you enough. In your mind, the more time they spend with you, the less they will like you.

When you don’t love yourself, you will accidentally frustrate your person. When they call you beautiful, you will shake your head. When they tell you they only want you, you will still question whether they are seeing someone else on the side. They will wonder why you don’t trust them when they have done nothing but treat you with kindness and respect. But you won’t be able to stop the nagging voice in the back of your head, saying that they probably are cheating on you, because you can’t imagine why they would settle for just you.

When you don’t love yourself, you see problems when none exist. You spend too much time imagining the horrible things your person is thinking about you, even though there is no proof they are thinking about anything other than how beautiful you are and how they can’t wait to spend the rest of their life alongside you.

When you don’t love yourself, you self-sabotage. Your insecurities convince you that your person is lying or cheating or about to leave you when they really haven’t done anything incriminating at all. You end up hurting yourself before they have a chance to hurt you, because you figure that either way, you are going to be heartbroken and you would rather be in control of the situation. You would rather be the one calling the shots.

When you don’t love yourself, it’s hard to make a relationship last, because you fight against your person whenever they try to take the next step with you. The better they treat you, the more you pull away from them because you don’t want to fall in love. You don’t want to get attached. You don’t want to feel like you can’t live without them because you are convinced they will be gone one day and wouldn’t be able to live with the pain.

When you don’t love yourself, relationships are hard. Harder than most people realize.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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The Struggle of Anxiety

Hello loves ❤

Anxiety has one goal, and it’s to destroy people. And sometimes it does.

Anxiety takes away their ability to breathe and it makes you watch as it cripples them. But sometimes it’s sneaky. Sometimes it’s destroying a person and the scariest part about it is you have no idea that it’s happening. Because sometimes anxiety isn’t always as obvious as a person gasping for air as they struggle to breathe.

Sometimes anxiety is a person simply sitting there. It’s a person staring off into space as if they’re caught up in a daydream, when in reality; they’re suffering from their own personal nightmare. Anxiety isn’t always falling apart on the outside, even when you’re shattering on the inside. It’s racing thoughts and irrational fears that clutter your brain and sink your heart. It’s nothing that can be seen unless you live inside that person’s head and nothing that can be felt unless you feel that person’s heart.

Sometimes anxiety is a person lashing out at the people they love in an unexplainable rage for no apparent reason. It’s reacting out of anger instead of rationality. It’s snapping at people when that’s the last thing you want to do. It’s regretting the harsh words you said ten minutes later. It’s the tremendous amount of guilt you feel when you realize you can never take those words back. It’s dwelling on everything small and obsessing over anything that could happen and forgetting everything that hasn’t happened. It’s asking ‘what if’ constantly and only listing the worst possible case scenarios over and over again until you convince yourself the worst possible case scenario is the only scenario that makes any sense.

Sometimes anxiety is a person feeling paranoid even when nothing’s wrong. Anxiety is running back inside the house to turn off the oven that’s already off. It’s hitting the lock on your car doors three times before you’re convinced they’re locked. It’s over analyzing every word someone said, and constantly worrying everyone hates you. It’s going over every conversation you’ve ever had and the irrational fear that at some point you must have said or done something wrong. Anxiety isn’t trusting anyone, including yourself.

Sometimes anxiety is a person who pushes love away instead of letting love comfort them. It believing you don’t deserve love and even forgetting to love yourself. It’s the fear of losing everyone around you and never feeling good enough. It’s believing moments are too good to be true and experiencing fear when everyone else around you is experiencing happiness. It’s waiting for the next thing to go wrong even when everything is right. It’s never feeling at peace, and always feeling on edge.

Sometimes anxiety isn’t seen but it’s always felt. Even in a person’s best moments, anxiety is still there. Sometimes anxiety is gasping for air, but sometimes anxiety is a person laughing. Sometimes it’s a person speaking eloquently to a large group of people. Sometimes it’s a person showing you their passion, and sometimes it’s a person creating beautiful pieces of art. Because sometimes anxiety is taking over the last person you’d expect.

Sometimes anxiety terrifies everyone around us as we gasp for air and struggle to breathe, but sometimes anxiety can look like nothing, and not even the people we love the most can tell.

And that’s why anxiety is the greatest destroyer of all.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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66,000 Views, Yay!

Hello loves, ❤

I hope everyone is having a lovely Thursday – I am about to finish a 4 day work week to have 4 days off then back to work for four days. I love Easter holidays – My mother still does a Easter egg hunt w/ me + my sister.

We’ve added another 1000 views to the ‘view bag’ – I cannot believe how far we have all come together ❤

Woo – Thank you to those lovely bloggers below who have re-blogged my work ❤

I love reading such nice things that people say about my blog page or even about me personally. It makes me happy to know that I can inspire others ❤

The below screenshot most certainly made my day 🙂

Kind Words 25

I am so thankful bc as of 5-6 months ago Discovering Your Happiness was ranked on Top 75 Happiness Blogs, we are now ranked 54, which is AMAZING! You get ranked by:

  • Google reputation and Google search ranking
  • Influence and popularity on Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites
  • Quality and consistency of posts.
  • Feedspot’s editorial team and expert review

Ranked 54

Thanks to everyone that has gotten me to this ranking – This wouldn’t of happened without you ❤ ❤

What does every one have planned for the long weekend??

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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Learning

Hello loves, ❤

I’m learning what it means to simply be human. To be my flawed, unfiltered self without apologizing for what that looks like. To be a masterpiece and a work in progress all at once. I’m learning what it feels like to be both happy and sad at the same time. And how incredibly beautiful of a contradiction that is. I’m learning to be gentle with the most desperate parts of myself.

I’m learning to forgive myself for the past. To let my the past finally pass me by. I’m learning that holding onto resentment and harsh feelings won’t get me far in life, and the sooner I relinquish those feelings the sooner I will feel at peace with myself.

I’m learning how to welcome endings. Even the endings of the most beautiful things. I’m learning to let go of whatever is not meant to stay in my life. I’m learning that timing cannot and will not always be on my side. And timing isn’t always the to blame for the things that happen to me. I’m finally starting to trust that timing is leading me to the right place, at the right time. I’m learning that having a soft heart is a gift in this cruel, bitter world. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. I am learning how I can ins re others to be soft too. I’m learning that the days I struggle the most are the days in which I must love myself more. I’m learning to take care of the messier parts of myself.

I’m learning how to control my emotions. To allow myself feel things. I’m learning to stop apologizing for being emotional because having emotions makes me human. It makes me real. I’m learning the power of patience. That I must be patient with the most difficult and chaotic parts of myself. I’m learning that patience will gift me with all the power I’ll ever need in life.

I’m learning to run towards fear rather than running away from it. I’m seeing that my deepest, darkest fears are where my faith lies. I am slowly learning to welcome fear into my life instead of constantly running from it. I’m learning to stop paying attention to what everyone else is doing. I’m starting to take the road less traveled instead of the familiar path. I’m realizing that it’s okay to be different. It’s okay to stand out from the crowd. I’m learning to ditch what society portrays as being beautiful and how beauty cannot be defined.

I’m learning to quit apologizing for things that make me human. How I simply cannot control every little thing that happens to me in life. I’m learning that to live means experiencing life in its highs and lows, and everything that comes in between. I’m learning to laugh through the confusion and cry through the joy. I’m seeing that life doesn’t have to be so damn complicated.

I’m learning what it means to fully live in the moment. To quit constantly wishing I was somebody else, somewhere else, doing something else. I’m learning to focus on what I have in front of me right now. I am slowly learning to just be, whatever the hell it is I want to be in that moment. I’m learning that being me will always be enough.

Lessons learnt.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

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