Sometimes You Just Have To Be Your Own Person

Hello loves, ❤

 

Sometimes you have to listen to your own voice first before you listen to anyone, you have to understand your thoughts and where they’re coming from. You have to be the one who finds the answers instead of asking someone else for them. You have to do your research before you ask for help.

 

Sometimes you need to give yourself the wake up call you need when you’re lost. You have to be the one who searches inside and outside for the truth, for your passion, for where you belong and what kind of life you want to live. You shouldn’t wait for an opportunity to knock on your door or for someone to save your life.

 

Sometimes you have to save yourself. You have to mend your broken heart. You have to be the person who decides to change their own story and rewrites a new one.

 

Sometimes you have to break your own heart with the truth instead of living a lie. You have to leave certain people behind, confront those who wronged you in the past and walk away from the people you once loved. You have to knock some sense into yourself and force yourself to move on, to stop waiting, to stop wondering, to stop questioning. You have to convince yourself that you deserve better, that you shouldn’t settle and that you should wait for a love that matches the one you’re willing to give.

 

Sometimes you have to get comfortable with being alone. You have to learn how to be okay with wanting things people won’t understand and having dreams no one believes in. Sometimes you’re going to be the only person in the room who sees a different direction, who aspires to live a different life and you’ll have to fight as hell for it even if you secretly don’t know how you’ll make it or how you’ll get there.

 

Because at the end of the day, no one knows who you really are when all your masks fall off, no one sees what you see, no one feels what you feel and no one knows what truly keeps you up at night. You have to be your own person, you have to hold your own hand because you won’t always be lucky enough to find someone who understands your journey or stands by you until you make it.

 

You won’t always find people willing to climb a certain mountain with you.

 

Sometimes you have to climb alone — it’s exhausting and tiring and draining but once you get to the top, everything will look so small. Everything will make sense. You’ll be glad you made it, even if you’re the only one enjoying the view.

 

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

A, x (1)

Don’t Settle For A Boring Kind Of Love

Hello loves, ❤

Maybe someone fooled you and told you that you can’t find a passionate love without heartbreak. Maybe someone told you that you have to pick someone who’s not your type because you can’t have it all. Maybe someone actually convinced you that love is boring and it’s only exciting in the beginning.

 

I firmly believe that love is not boring but the wrong relationship is.

When you date someone just because you’re lonely or when you convince yourself that someone is right for you just because they happen to love you a lot more than you love them. The routine, getting used to each other’s bad habits, spending too much time together, fighting or running out of things to talk about are all part of the package. Because it’s really not that much different from your relationship with your best friends, yet you never say you’re bored of your best friends because you love them and even the most boring moments with them are comforting. They’re soothing because you are around people who understand you, people you love and people who genuinely care about you.

 

Love is only boring when you’re not with the right person because you don’t grow together, you’re not excited to know more, you’re not discovering something new about them every day and you’re not giving them your all.

 

Because when you give your all to someone, it can never be boring, it’s always empowering, it’s always beautiful and it fulfils you more than anything else in the world.

 

Love is not boring. Love is exciting, it’s exhilarating, it’s unpredictable and it always leaves you wanting more. You can never get enough of it.

 

So don’t settle for a boring love because when you’re with the right person, even the most boring moments will be special, they’ll be unforgettable, they’ll mean something. Because love is gigantic even in the little things and it’s loud even in silence.

 

If you’re bored then maybe you’re not truly opening yourself up to love. Maybe you’re not giving your all. Maybe you’re settling because you don’t want to be alone. But if love doesn’t make you want to wake up every morning and be the best person you could be and if it doesn’t fill you with overwhelming joy and excitement, then it’s not love and you shouldn’t convince yourself that it is.

 

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

A, x (1)

It’s Your Deepest Pain That Makes You Grow

Hello loves ❤

 

It’s the hardships that make you strong. It’s the heartbreak that makes you fearless in love. It’s the disappointments that make you wise. It’s the challenges that make you determined and it’s not getting what you want that makes you appreciate what you already have.

 

Pain is inevitable. Getting hurt is an essential part of life because that’s how we grow and that’s how we learn. That’s how we figure things out. That’s how we discover ourselves. That’s how we know who truly loves us and who is just pretending.

 

Without pain, we would be blind. Without pain, we would be sheltered. Without pain, we wouldn’t have learned how to fight life’s toughest battles.

 

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not romanticizing pain or saying it’s something beautiful. Pain is terrible and sometimes it can really disturb us and affect us in ways we can never really get over but there’s also nothing we can do about it.

 

We can’t control pain. We can’t decide that our lives will be free of pain and so we must find the silver lining. We must find the message behind our pain. We must understand how this pain will help us get to the pleasures we’re seeking eventually.

 

Because the greatest pain of all is not learning how to survive, the greatest pain is expecting to play it safe all the time and hoping the world will play it safe with us too, the greatest pain is getting injured every time someone pushes us and the greatest pain is having open wounds without knowing how to heal them.

 

And we’re here to learn, we’re here to evolve, we’re here to make mistakes and try to make things right again, we’re here to mess up so we can get our shit together, we’re here to live in contradictions and learn how to find balance. We’re here to make sense of senseless things and find order in the middle of chaos and find what makes us happy when we’re sad and what makes us shine through the darkness of it all.

 

Because life is contradicting like that, you have to fail before you succeed, you have to lose before you win, you have to doubt yourself before you learn how to love yourself and you have to accept pain if you want to find happiness.

 

And if you think about it, pain makes you more compassionate, more self-aware, more forgiving, more tolerant. It hardens your core yet softens your edges, which in my opinion, is the best way to live a healthy and balanced life.

 

If we had the option to live without pain, we’d all choose that, but we don’t have that option so we might as well choose to live with it. Choose to make it our friend instead of our enemy.
Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

A, x (1)

Letting Go Is Not The Same As Giving Up

Hello loves, ❤

 

Letting go is not quitting. It’s not giving up. It’s not failing. It’s simply understanding that some endings are sad for a little while but they lead to a happy one and some goodbyes are hard for some time until they steer us to better beginnings.

 

Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t know how to keep things or make things work. It doesn’t mean that you like inconsistency or instability. It simply means that you can’t win everything no matter how hard you try because some things are not meant to be yours. You won’t win every prize. You won’t always be number one and that’s a blessing because sometimes we focus too much on winning that we forget what we’re really going after. We focus too much on getting what we want without really probing if it’s really the best thing for us. We try to get ahead of everyone else even if we’re in the wrong race.

 

I remember how I was so bad at letting go because I took it personally. I felt like it said something about me. It told people I’m flakey or I can’t hold onto things like everyone else but then I realized that there is no point in being stubborn or fighting for people who broke your heart. There is no point in trying to prove that you were right by throwing yourself into the fire and expecting not to burn.

 

And that’s when I learned the importance of letting go when things are over because the truth is, some things end long before we say they’re over. Sometimes things end long before we’re ready and the illusion of having them is ten times worse than the reality of letting them go.

 

Letting go is not giving up. It’s giving something up for better things to come your way. It’s losing something small to win something bigger. It’s hurting for a little while so you can heal forever.

 

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

A, x (1)