The past 30 days, J has been away + I have to admit, it’s been the hardest thing ever!
My anxiety has been through the roof – there were some days I was okay & others where I think I couldn’t handle the situation anymore.
J being away gave me time to focus on myself + some of the things I have going on (insecurities + jealousy), its given me the time to sort myself out + figure out the mature way to go about things & more understanding of how my brain works + to change the thought pattern.
Below are some things that I did to keep busy whilst J was away.
1) Make a Plan
Plans! Yes! Plans! I made plans, I made myself busy so I wasn’t thinking silly. Whether it was gym plans or plans with friends/family. I needed to make my brain busy otherwise I would drive myself mental. I have had great support around me where others have been making plans with me to keep me busy as well.
2) Watch a good movie, read, craft or do something, anything you enjoy!
Blogging, writing, journalling, reading – these are some of the things that I worked on whilst J was gone. I’ve read approx 4 books in the last month, which is good for me. Reading takes me to another place + I enjoy that. Journalling also kept me sane bc I tend to overthink things which leads to a negative mindset, so I am happy I have been journalling more.
3) Create To Do Lists
This is a big one! I am a very big LIST person. So when the weekend rolls around I make lists to keep me busy for example, wake up, eat breakfast, wash my car, go to the gym, come home, shower, make lunch, read in the sun etc. Than when I finish these things I would cross them off. When I cross things off a list, it is an accomplished feeling + I really like it.
4) Keep it ‘Real’
I like this one – I didn’t be someone I wasn’t when J wasn’t here – some people I know invited me to go out clubbing bc J was away & they all said ‘Come out, J is away!’ but I truly didn’t want to – if J was here I wouldn’t have gone, so w/ J away I wasn’t going to be someone I wasn’t.
Cooking, baking – enjoying time in the kitchen. I did this a lot! Whether it was desserts, breakfasts, dinners, lunches. I enjoyed my time in the kitchen. I made: Home Made LCM Bars, made food w/ Rach – it’s been great.
6) Don’t dwell on the ‘What ifs’
This one was a big one for me – what if this, what if that. This was a big thing that I have worked on whilst J has been gone. I have learnt to stop thinking in the ‘what ifs’ & living in the present moment. Communication was hard whilst he has been away – I struggled a lot not being in contact with him, which was upsetting. But, I trust J so I kept telling myself positive things instead of negative things.
7) Work on your relationship
I not only worked on myself whilst J was gone but I also worked on the relationship. I spent a lot of my time whilst J was away to plan nice things for when he returns home. I purchased him Cirque De Soleil tickets (he knows about this!), I also organised a nice holiday for us – which you will all find out about soon. I also worked on not questioning as much, I tend to do that a lot in our relationship but I backed off with that.
8) Serve someone else
This I did a lot! I spent a lot of time w/ the people around me. I spent time w/ my mother, family friends, Rach, my sister – this was good bc these people understood what I was going through so they wanted to support me by keeping me company.
9) Spend time outdoors
This I did a lot! I went to Brighton Le Sands alot + spent time walking there. I knew I wanted to be outdoors + enjoy nature whilst J was away.
10) Pamper yourself
I believe that a good cup of tea can change the world. It can at least change your mood. I drank alot of tea + had alot of baths w/ relaxing music whilst J was away. This helped with my anxiety which was good for me. Having that me-time was real good for me to just de-stress, take my mind elsewhere + relax.
Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤