What to do Whilst Your Partner is Away

The past 30 days, J has been away + I have to admit, it’s been the hardest thing ever!

My anxiety has been through the roof – there were some days I was okay & others where I think I couldn’t handle the situation anymore.

J being away gave me time to focus on myself + some of the things I have going on (insecurities + jealousy), its given me the time to sort myself out + figure out the mature way to go about things & more understanding of how my brain works + to change the thought pattern.

Below are some things that I did to keep busy whilst J was away.

1) Make a Plan

Plans! Yes! Plans! I made plans, I made myself busy so I wasn’t thinking silly. Whether it was gym plans or plans with friends/family. I needed to make my brain busy otherwise I would drive myself mental. I have had great support around me where others have been making plans with me to keep me busy as well.

2) Watch a good movie, read, craft or do something, anything you enjoy!

Blogging, writing, journalling, reading – these are some of the things that I worked on whilst J was gone. I’ve read approx 4 books in the last month, which is good for me. Reading takes me to another place + I enjoy that. Journalling also kept me sane bc I tend to overthink things which leads to a negative mindset, so I am happy I have been journalling more.

3) Create To Do Lists

This is a big one! I am a very big LIST person. So when the weekend rolls around I make lists to keep me busy for example, wake up, eat breakfast, wash my car, go to the gym, come home, shower, make lunch, read in the sun etc. Than when I finish these things I would cross them off. When I cross things off a list, it is an accomplished feeling + I really like it.

4) Keep it ‘Real’

I like this one – I didn’t be someone I wasn’t when J wasn’t here – some people I know invited me to go out clubbing bc J was away & they all said ‘Come out, J is away!’ but I truly didn’t want to – if J was here I wouldn’t have gone, so w/ J away I wasn’t going to be someone I wasn’t.

5) BAKE!

Cooking, baking – enjoying time in the kitchen. I did this a lot! Whether it was desserts, breakfasts, dinners, lunches. I enjoyed my time in the kitchen. I made: Home Made LCM Bars, made food w/ Rach – it’s been great.

6) Don’t dwell on the ‘What ifs’

This one was a big one for me – what if this, what if that. This was a big thing that I have worked on whilst J has been gone. I have learnt to stop thinking in the ‘what ifs’ & living in the present moment. Communication was hard whilst he has been away – I struggled a lot not being in contact with him, which was upsetting. But, I trust J so I kept telling myself positive things instead of negative things.

7) Work on your relationship

I not only worked on myself whilst J was gone but I also worked on the relationship. I spent a lot of my time whilst J was away to plan nice things for when he returns home. I purchased him Cirque De Soleil tickets (he knows about this!), I also organised a nice holiday for us – which you will all find out about soon. I also worked on not questioning as much, I tend to do that a lot in our relationship but I backed off with that.

8) Serve someone else

This I did a lot! I spent a lot of time w/ the people around me. I spent time w/ my mother, family friends, Rach, my sister – this was good bc these people understood what I was going through so they wanted to support me by keeping me company.

9) Spend time outdoors

This I did a lot! I went to Brighton Le Sands alot + spent time walking there. I knew I wanted to be outdoors + enjoy nature whilst J was away.

10) Pamper yourself 

I believe that a good cup of tea can change the world. It can at least change your mood. I drank alot of tea + had alot of baths w/ relaxing music whilst J was away. This helped with my anxiety which was good for me. Having that me-time was real good for me to just de-stress, take my mind elsewhere + relax.

 

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

A, x (1)

22 thoughts on “What to do Whilst Your Partner is Away

  1. My husband often travels for work for a week or so at a time and at first it was really hard with him gone. As I have gotten used to it, there are still moments of anxiety and loneliness, but I have learned to take the time to do things I love that I don’t often have as much time for when he is home. For instance, when he is here I like to be home in the evenings to eat dinner and talk about our days. When he is gone, I spend many evenings out late at the dog park with my pup, grabbing dinner at a restaurant on the patio. Two things that aren’t his favorite to do.

    I think time apart can do a healthy, trust filled relationship some good. Time to get more in touch with yourself as it is so easy to get hyper focused on the relationship.

    Loved this post 🙂 30 days is a LONG time. I haven’t dealt with that yet. Sounds like you are doing a lot of great things to make it through!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sad to hear your husband goes away but I am also happy for you bc you get to have your ‘me time’ & that is what matters the most.
      Time apart can be healthy, it can strengthen bonds too.
      This has given me an opportunity to focus on myself.
      30 days was THE longest time – it killed me.
      It went so so so so so so slow.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. So glad to know you have J coming in today! It’s great that you have family so understanding, and wanting to be there for you. That makes such a huge difference. Enjoy your time.
    Did I ever ask or did you ever say if y’all live together? I know you said you live with family. Is he there too? Oh and enjoy your trip you two embark on Friday. May God give you safe travels and blessed times.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a beautiful comment ❤
      I did some volunteering recently 🙂
      I volunteered for a company who gave children w/ mental & physical disabilities an opportunity to go ice skating.
      It was such a beautiful experience, they loved every minute of it ❤
      I walked away w/ my heart feeling content ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I wish I had the strength you do here! Like, I can’t make a list and follow through with it. I come off as “lazy” because of it. I’m also surrounded by family and I really appreciate that, because I don’t have to worry about entertaining myself with other friends.

    Living in the city, makes me miss nature. I really need to focus on that more, because it’s always been my happy place. I’m not much of a baker, but if I see something very yummy I will try it out!

    Keeping it real is so true. Be honest and respectful to yourself when you are, or not with your S/O!

    Make a post about tea!! I love tea, but I’m limited. Like, I don’t explore because I’m nervous I won’t like the taste. And it’ll be a “wasted investment”.

    Thank you Anita! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This strength didn’t happen overnight, it was hard work w/ help from beautiful people around me ❤
      These lists are what keep me going – I need these lists otherwise my brain is just cluttered.
      I have a small number of friends & I like to live my life that way, so having family + my friends around me is such a beautiful thing.
      Where is the nearest place that is a step close to nature?
      Thank you so much – I had to keep it real, I didn't want to lose myself.
      Thanks for the recommendation – I shall do a post on tea 🙂

      Have a beautiful day ❤

      Like

      1. I hear exactly what you’re saying here! I’m still working on it all. I hope to accomplish just that, ya know? Whatever I set my mind too. Im working on surrounding myself with the people that are perfect for me.
        If I want to go to a place of a forest and rivers it would be a a few hours drive! I could go and appreciate the desert around me thought! Beauty in mountains right?
        I’m trying to keep it real as well! My sanity is important.

        Thank you Anita!!!😍😍😍

        Liked by 1 person

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