Q&A: The Answers Have Arrived

The time has come, please see below all the questions that you all asked me 🙂

Alot of people commented which was lovely but I had a large amount of people email me + I really appreciate that also.

Below are the questions I got asked 🙂

What has been the most challenging thing about blogging?

Finding the time, to be completely honest. I am out of the house from 6:30am till 7:30pm, I also go to the gym + spend a lot of my time w/ J, so it’s hard to find time. Over the past 4-5 months of my journey on wordpress, I have started MAKING the time, I tend to write a lot at work + schedule things so content is always going up. Like for example, I have content scheduled till the end of September at the moment.

Do you live near your family?
I live WITH my family, which I love ❤
What do you do at work? 
I work for a company called Val Morgan, I am one of the Operations Coordinators. Val Morgan is a company that looks after cinema advertising before a movie starts.
What is CBD?
CBD stands for Central Business District – so this is the central part of Sydney where everyone works – that is where I am based.
How many siblings do you have? What number are you?
I have one sister + she is 20. I am the eldest 🙂
How did you get started with your mental health posts?
I am one that is constantly reading other blog posts, books, youtube videos on mental health & I thought I would love to share things that I go through as well as coping strategies that I like to do to calm my self + my mind down.
Do you have a mental health disorder? Or are you posting just happy ways to get through the day? 
This question would tend to make me shiver – I never liked to admit that I have a mental illness until just recently. If you read I Must Confess… this has more of an in depth explanation on what I suffer. But, I have learnt to accept that I have anxiety. Anxiety doesn’t define me nor control me. My journey from 3 years ago to today is incredibly significant (You can read why in that post). I tend to post a lot of what I go through bc you are never alone, you never know what others are experiencing.
What made you start a blog?
I started my blog bc I was a viewer of other peoples blogs – I wanted to be apart of the blogging world to share my anxiety experiences, what I get up to on the weekend, what I bake/cook + my coping strategies on anxiety.
What is your favourite colour?
I am the biggest monochrome human living – white, black + grey EVERYTHING! You’ll see this when I complete my bed room tour.
How do you deal with anxiety?
It really depends on how bad my anxiety is that day. Something as simple as a bubble bath can calm my mind, sometimes I need to have a nap, sometimes I need to have a tea. It really depends on what my mind is going through that particular time.
How long have you had anxiety for?
I have had anxiety for about 3.5 years now, unfortunately I don’t remember what life is like without anxiety. It has been a long time but I am on a recovering journey + I have made a very big progress.
Where do you live?
I live in Sydney, Australia.
Have you ever traveled?
Yes, I have travelled to New Caledonia (only place outside Australia)
Where do you want to travel?
I would love to travel to Europe – Italy, Croatia, Greece, Barcelona, Swis Alps, France, London + soooo many more places. I’ve been meaning to do a post on this for over 6 months now.
Where do you work?
I work in the city CBD for a company called Val Morgan, we generate all the ads that play before a movie starts in every cinema across Australia + New Zealand.
What is your most favourite quote?
God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers ❤
Have you thought about making a youtube channel?
Sooooo many people have been asking me this lately, & I truly don’t know – I feel that I am a great writer but not a great speaker – I think I’ll be too shy in front of the camera. I feel that I would be so hard on myself about the whole thing & have a negative mindset.
What is your dream job?
Since developing anxiety I truly wanted to become a counsellor – I truly want to be the help that others are for me. I know that some people don’t have the right support or resources around them & I would love to be that person for those out there.
I have been looking for over a year at doing a counselling degree at the Australian College of Applied Psychology but I am just stuck in the ‘what if’
Will you ever upload a progress photo?
I have been thinking about it for quite some time BUT.. I do get a bit skeptical of the negative comments I might get (I am just fearful, I’ve never received nasty comments but I just get scared) Keep an eye out, I might 😛
If there are any more things that you want to know that hasn’t been answered, feel free to comment below 🙂
I hope the above will help you get to know a bit more about me ❤
Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤
A, x (1)

Being With Someone Who Has Anxiety

Anxiety is hard – one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with.

I know it doesn’t define who I am, but it makes me question everything in my life.

Being with someone who has anxiety wouldn’t be easy, but its also good for the other party to know a few things before they step into something serious w/ someone who has anxiety.

Below are some pointers I think are great for your partner to know if you are dealing with anxiety.

  • Patience – This is the number one attribute that is needed to maintain a relationship with someone who suffers from anxiety.  If you do not have patience, do not entertain the idea of entering the relationship.  I can not stress enough that this is the number one thing that is needed in order to help and be understanding of what your partner is going through.  There are going to be times where you will feel frustrated and just not understand.  This is where patience is key.
  • Focus – It is so important that you focus on who your partner is outside of their anxiety.  They are not just their anxiety.  There is a whole person there to be loved, and the anxiety, even if it is crippling, is still just a small piece of who they are. Always remember that you fell in love with them for a reason and it’s most likely because they are pretty awesome.
  • Check Up on Them – This is something so simple and really shows that you are there for them.  Whether it is once, twice or several times during the day, if you are away from them, see how they are doing.  Shoot them a quick text or if you can, make a quick phone call.  Sometimes all it takes is a quick, “How are you feeling?”.
  • Do Not Tell Them to Relax – This is quite possibly the worst thing you can tell your partner when they are having an anxiety attack.  It does not help, in fact it usually tends to make things worse.  They do not have complete control over what their mind and body is doing.  Think about it, telling someone who is having an anxiety attack to relax is like telling an epileptic to stop having a seizure.
  • Do Not Surprise Them – I am not talking about small surprises. As a matter of fact small surprises such as gifts or even the tiniest gestures on bad days can make a world of difference.  When I say do not surprise them, that means do not spring last minute plans on them.  Most people with anxiety need to prepare themselves ahead of time for what they will be doing.  Springing surprise plans or even changing plans last minute can, and probably will, send your partner into an anxiety attack.
  • Learn Your Partners Triggers – Talk to your partner and ask them what their triggers are.  Most people with anxiety can give you a list of things that send them reeling.  Sometimes though, they have triggers that they do not even realize. This will take some time but watch and observe the things that trigger your partners anxiety attacks.  Using this knowledge, learn to read a situation before you bring them into it.
  • Do Not Judge Them – Never judge your partner for something they can not control. People with anxiety tend to have anxiety attacks at just the thought of people judging them.  Their partner should be the one person who never will.
  • Stay Calm – If your partner is having an anxiety attack, stay calm.  They need you as their rock.  The best thing a partner can do is ask this simple question, “What can I do?”. Odds are your partner will tell you exactly what they need.  It may be space, it may be a certain thing, it may be as simple as you holding them, but do not assume. Those four words during an attack are the best thing you can do.
  • Start Breaking Walls – This is not something that is easy to do.  It may take time and if you don’t try to talk about it, your partner may never say anything.  Get your partner to open up to you about their anxiety and drop their “Everything is fine.” attitude.  You know everything is not fine so start kicking those walls down.
  • Do Not Force – Do not force your partner to do anything they physically do not want to do.   Pushing your partner into a situation that you know makes them uncomfortable and will most likely send them into an anxiety attack is not a way to get them better.  Yes, there are therapies that do that but it is handled differently and by professionals.  Forcing them does not fix the problem.
  • Do Not “Rescue” Them – Someone with anxiety is not looking to be “rescued” or have someone “fix” them.  Just like everyone else, they are looking for companionship and love.  They need to figure out what works best for them in getting the help they need.  Suggestions are always welcomed though.  Most importantly they just want someone to have their back and hold their hand through the rough times.
  • Research – The world is at your fingertips.  Get on the internet and do some research.  Learn more on your own about being in a relationship with someone with anxiety and put your knowledge to work.  Your partner will think you are amazing. This not only shows how much you really care but your partner will be amazed at how you seem to know just how to handle things.
  • Do Not Lose Yourself – Do not forget who you are.  Make sure you still take the time to go out and do the things that you love to do, even if it means without your partner.  Just because they may not be comfortable doing something you want to do, doesn’t mean you should put your life on hold and not do it.  Your partner will not be upset, they want you to be happy as well.  If you lose yourself, you will start to harbor resentment towards your partner.
  • Know They Appreciate You – They may have a hard time showing it but they appreciate you in the way they trust you.  It is hard for people with anxiety to trust people, so if your partner trusts you with everything about their anxiety, you better believe they love and appreciate you.

I hope the above has helped you 🙂

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

A, x (1)

The World of Anxiety

If any of you that don’t know… I have anxiety – I could never admit this in the past, I was very embarrassed. Now, it’s become a part of me, please read I Must Confess… (A blog I wrote when I shared my anxiety w/ you all)

Below I share with you what anxiety is, why it happens, what are the symptoms & an activity where you can ask yourself questions about your own anxiety.

What is Anxiety?

There are jitters – those that you feel when you’re about to go on stage for a presentation, or those you feel when you see your crush and are afraid of what he/she thinks. And then there is anxiety – a condition that causes fear, nervousness, or general apprehension and worry. Those affected by anxiety know that it does not only affect a person mentally, it can also affect the person in such a way that he’d feel physical pain. It makes a person feel agitated, and may not help him sleep, which, of course, would affect his everyday life. When this happens, it means that a person is already suffering from severe anxiety.

But, here is the good news:

  1. It’s normal to feel anxious. We are human beings, not machines. When we leave our comfort zone, we naturally experience fear, and from this point we start to grow, this is human nature.
  2. You can get your anxiety under your control. And you’ll definitely do so with this anxiety guidebook, which provides you with ideas on how to both prevent and handle your anxiety. You can benefit from your fight with anxiety. Once you get rid of it, you will be able to possess tools and knowledge, to grow and boost your full potential. So, relax and enjoy reading!

 

Why does it happen?

Like most mental illnesses, it is not exactly known why anxiety happens. But more often than not, it is brought upon by environmental stress and a lack of certain chemicals in the brain. Change also is a big indicator of anxiety. Research shows that those affected with anxiety experience a lot of changes in their brain structure, especially with hormones that control emotions. Sometimes, life experiences, especially the traumatic ones, may also be the reason why the person is experiencing anxiety problems. Moreover, if the parent of a person also suffered from anxiety before, he’s more likely to develop the problem, too.

Though, there are some upsides even for a mental illness like Anxiety Disorders.

Anxiety Disorder has a lot of benefits, science says.

Instead of trying to constantly cheer yourself up, and you fail badly at it many times, maybe it is time to consider the benefits of anxiety.

 

What are the symptoms?

So, how do you know that you are already suffering from anxiety? These symptoms are often called “alarm reactions”, whenever a person feels threatened or fearful. Basically, alarm reactions are actions that may help people protect themselves in threatening situations.

  • Sweating. Because sweating cools the body down, it would be difficult for another person, or even an animal to attack a person.
  • Light-headiness or Dizziness. When someone feels dizzy, blood circulates faster and in turn, oxygen is distributed throughout the body—and that’s why your mind may feel tired.
  • Rapid Breathing. Rapid breathing is caused by the rapid beating of the heart. Just like dizziness, it helps blood circulate more throughout your body, especially towards essential organs, which will help you run away in case of danger.
  • Nausea. The feeling of being nausea-tic happens when the body shuts down the process of digestion, since it’s not necessarily needed for survival, and that’s why you usually feel this way whenever you feel upset.
  • Tightness of Chest. This is caused by breathing rapidly because of muscle tension.
  • Heaviness of Legs. There is an increased tension of leg muscles because of trying to be ready for the flight or fight response.
  • Brighter Vision. In order to make sure that one sees clearly, the pupils naturally dilate so that more light could be taken in.
  • Numbness. You may also feel numb, mainly due to hyperventilation, when you suffer from anxiety. This is because of how your nerve endings react because blood flows through the body in a way that’s much faster than usual.

 

Affected Thoughts

Also, more often than not, your thoughts are very much affected by anxiety. You’ll notice this when you start worrying about things that you don’t usually worry about, or when you worry about almost every single thing in life. You may ask yourself questions as listed below:

  • What if people don’t like what I’m wearing?
  • What if I miss the bus at 7:30?
  • What if I’m late for work?
  • What if I don’t get that job?
  • I just feel like crap. This day probably won’t be good.
  • I feel like nothing good is ever going to me.
  • I probably would die alone.

And so on. There are also other emotional symptoms such as:

  • You have trouble concentrating
  • You feel dreadful
  • Feeling somewhat apprehensive
  • Feeling particularly tense
  • Restlessness
  • Irritability
  • Watching for signs of danger

Usually, when the mind does not work the way it usually does, your thoughts race, and you’d feel so much worse about yourself. When this happens, it means that you are already suffering from anxiety. Also, it’s a given fact that most people who suffer from anxiety may also be suffering from depression. However, it’s best that you know which type of anxiety you’re suffering from so that you would also begin to understand yourself more. In the next chapter, the different types of anxiety will be discussed.

 

Types of Anxiety Disorder

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

This happens when a person feels tense or fearful and so much worried about everyday situations. When their worries are provoked, they might do drastic things, such as hurt themselves.

Phobias

Phobias are probably the most common kinds of anxiety disorders as mostly everyone suffers from them. Basically, phobias are your intense fear of certain things or situations, such as heights, dogs, snakes, crowds, flying, etc. When you feel like you wouldn’t be able to function once you’re in a situation where the feared object is present, it means that you are suffering from a phobia.

Social Anxiety Disorder

This means that you may have an overwhelming fear about social situations, even the smallest things such as paying for food at a restaurant, talking to strangers, or basically just having to talk to people face to face. This anxiety disorder stems from the fear of being judged, or fear of being embarrassed because of who and what you are.

Panic Disorder

When a person suffers from panic disorders, he may suddenly feel fearful, even if he’s in a good mood. It’s as if the panic strikes even if there is no reason for it to strike. This way, a person may find it hard to breathe, or feel like he is choking. Others may even feel like they are suffering from heart attacks. Some also say that the situation makes them feel “crazy”.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

This happens after a traumatic or life-threatening situation, such as being involved in an accident, breaking up with your significant other, family issues, death of someone close to you, and the likes. When a person suffers from this, he may suffer from nightmares, flashbacks, and being easily startled, which makes it hard for him to go forth with his day.

If you can relate to any of these, don’t worry, keep reading!

 

Don’t prioritize your worries.

If you’re a worry wart, then you know what this means. Sometimes, you let your life be controlled by all of the things you’re worried about. But you know what? You actually can choose to prioritize other things. Here are some ways for you to do so.

Postpone your worries

You know how when you’re procrastinating you tend to postpone what you have to do because you feel lazy, and because you feel like there are other things that you should focus on? You could do that with your worries, too! For example, you’re working on a project and you suddenly think about the number of clothes in your hamper and the thought that you may have nothing to wear tomorrow. Ignore the thought, or just write it down, and worry about it later. The more you tell yourself to worry about that certain event later, the more you’ll be able to forget about it—and be able to focus on the bigger things in life!

Make your own period of worry

You allot some time for exercise or meditation sometime in the day if you want to be in the pink of health. Well, instead of worrying about every single thing every single time of the day, just make your own time for “worry”. No, it’s not about telling yourself that you should worry about this or that; it’s about allowing yourself to go over your worries at one point of the day, then forget all about them. This way, you’d feel lighter. Give around 5 to 20 minutes of your time to your worries, probably just after going home from work—and definitely not before bedtime, okay? Worry about whatever you have in mind, and then leave them be. And then…

Get over your worries

It would be good to jot down your worries and reflect about them, so that you’d understand that they can be solved and then ask yourself some questions that are related to your worries, such as:

  • Do you really think that this thing you’re worrying about will happen, and why?
  • Are you worried about something real, or is it all just in your mind?
  • Is there something you can do to prevent the problem from happening, or is it out of your control?
  • Why exactly are you worried?
  • What situations affect you?
  • Which kind of people make you anxious?
  • Are you taking good care of yourself?
  • Do you always feel overworked?
  • Do you feel undeserving or unappreciated or unwanted?
  • What makes you so scared?
  • Do you feel like you’re not getting enough emotional support?
  • Why do you think that it’s important to be certain about everything in life?
  • Do you think that it’s possible to be sure about everything?
  • Why do you always think that bad things will happen?
  • Do you think you can still live your life, even if you’re not certain about everything?
  • Do you think you’re helping yourself by worrying?

 

With the help of these questions, you can come to terms with your worries, and understand that some of them may probably just be in your mind, so you can relax!

Don’t prioritize your worries because really, there are so many other things that you could focus on—so deal with those.

I hope this post has helped some of you bc I know when I did these exercises – I felt better.

Wherever you are in the world, have a lovely day ❤

A, x (1)