Insecurities is a very big thing to me… And, I’ll never know why. I never feel good enough & maybe this is because I am not happy w/ myself.
I don’t even remember the last time I was not insecure… (which is a sad feeling)
Today, some really great points were addressed w/ me + I personally think that these will really help me w/ the insecurities that I have.
Changing my train of thought is hard, (it’s not an easy task) HOWEVER, it’s never too late to start.
Working on myself is a very big thing that I am working on at the moment & would love to share these w/ you.
Below are 6 ways to feel less insecure w/ your relationship w/ your partner.
- Let go of the past.
Honestly, you can’t move forward with your current partner if you’re still living in the past. If you’ve had your heart broken in a previous relationship and you keep assuming your current partner will act like your previous partner(s), you have to stop. You need to find a way to let it go. You can’t carry around that baggage because it’s way too heavy.
Also, what your partner has experienced in his past shouldn’t be bought up (bc thats in the past for a reason). None of these things should be bought to the table bc this has happened before the two of you got into a relationship.
When you meet someone you are starting a clean slate – this slate is for only you + your partner, no one else. So dispose those ugly thoughts about what if, or what about before, or you did this, or you did that – it will just cause headache, complications + arguments.
Everyone is different, do not compare, do not compare your partner to people you know of, or stories you’ve heard of certain people, or even friends that have been hurt from their bfs bc of X, Y, Z. Comparing isn’t cool so you’ve got to find a way to separate the relationships in your mind and not jump to conclusions because of what has happened to you or people you know of in the past.
Let it go…
- Realize what is real & what’s imaginary.
Sometimes our brains play tricks on us. Just because you think something, that doesn’t mean it’s true. We tend to think the worst in situations when we’re feeling insecure.
When feeling insecure and/or jealous – we tend to make accusations + assumptions to the ones we love.
If you find yourself doing this, don’t get worked up. Just take a step back and breathe. Ask yourself if there’s any proof to what you’re thinking or if it’s just your insecurity feeding your mind these thoughts. And remember to always give your man (or woman) the benefit of the doubt.
Give them a chance to explain before you get upset over nothing.
- Let go of your need for control.
A lot of times, overcoming insecurity also means you need to overcome your need of control. Having certain expectations that your relationship should be or needs to be a certain way can cause problems. When you’re constantly asking for reassurance that yes, your partner loves you or no, there’s nothing going on behind your back, your partner feels this way or that way, etc. – it can put a major strain on things.
Uncertainty is a normal part of life. You can’t always be certain of everything. Trying to control things is just going to spin things further out of your control.
All of your worries are probably not realistic anyway. Sometimes our heads just play tricks on us.
- Learn to love yourself.
Do you have a fear of rejection, abandonment, or loneliness? An overall sense that maybe you’re not good enough and you’re just waiting for your partner to leave you? If so, then maybe your problem is with yourself and not your partner.
When people don’t think highly of themselves, they generally seek approval from other people. And when they enter relationships, they sort of become dependent on their partner for this approval. They start feeling insecure, fearful that their partner will leave them and that they won’t be able to live happily without this person.
If this sounds like you, you should start focusing on your self-esteem and confidence. Learn how to love yourself so that your partner can love you like you deserve to be loved. You can’t let all of your happiness rest in someone else’s hands – that’s no way to live life.
You’re an individual and you’ve got to love yourself first.
- Learn to be happy in the moment.
If you’re constantly feeling insecure and second-guessing everything, your relationship will start to feel strained and full of tension. If you’re feeling the nagging feeling of insecurity, try to distract yourself and find a reason to be happy.
Plan a fun activity for you and your partner to do together. Pick something that you’ll both enjoy to help bring some spark back into your relationship. Enjoy each other’s company and make memories together.
This is a great way to deal with insecurity because it takes your mind off of the negative and helps the both of you bond and grow closer. This could, in turn, help you see that you have nothing to worry about and make you more happy with your relationship.
Time to plan an outing..
- Remember to communicate!
First of all, if you’re feeling insecure with your partner, then you obviously care about them very much and you can’t stand the thought of losing them. Keeping that in mind, communication is the key to any successful relationship.
Keeping thoughts bottled up is a good way to push your partner away & you really don’t want that. If something is bothering you, you have got to talk about it.
Be direct and let them know “Hey, this is making me feel insecure and I just want to know if there’s any reason to feel insecure about it.” If you’re feeling insecure for no reason, they’ll let you know. If they care about you, they’ll comfort you and help you overcome the feeling. But you’ve gotta try to believe them when they tell you that you that you have no reason to feel that way.
Communication is KEY!