For me, it is very hard to apologize (as I always think I am right… ALL the time) I know this is something I need to work on.
Below are some teachings that I am trying to put into practice w/ my life & would like to share them.
I hope they help you as much as I want them to help me ❤
Don’t apologize for someone else’s feelings: ‘I’m sorry you’re mad’ isn’t an apology. It’s condescending.
Do apologize for your own actions & attitudes: ‘I’m sorry I was rude’ is an apology that takes ownership. Be specific about what you did wrong. ‘I’m sorry for whatever made you mad’ is NOT going to work.
Don’t add an excuse to your apology: ‘I’m sorry I was rude, but I was really annoyed’ means you’re not really sorry. You feel justified for the way you acted and you expect to be excused.
Do ask for forgiveness when you apologize: ‘I’m sorry’ on it’s own, is just a statement. It requires no response. Will you forgive me?’ is a humble request that can rebuild a relationship. When you ask your spouse to forgive you, wait, listen, be prepared for them to say in response ‘I need a minute, I’m not there right now’ . When you are in the wrong, you are never owed forgiveness. Be grateful when you receive it.
Don’t expect a reciprocal apology: Let’s say you were in a fight. You were both rude & hostile to each other & now you’ve decided to be the brave one & apologize first. Do not apologize expecting your spouse to apologize equally. When you recognize you have done something wrong, just own your part of it. The end.
Do attempt to make a repair: Once you get through the brutal, ‘I’m sorry, will you forgive me?’ it’s wise to make the next step & ask, ‘is there anything I can do to make it right?’