Ways To Become A Better Forgiver

 

1. Don’t wait for an apology.

There will be times you’ll need to forgive in spite of a weak apology & there will be other times that an apology isn’t offered. Choose to forgive because it benefits you.

2. Practice giving the benefit of the doubt.

Start with the belief that your spouse/friend/acquaintance had good intentions or at least that they did not intend to hurt you.

3. Be clear & kind about why you are hurt.

When you are truly hurt, you deserve the chance to be heard. But avoid blaming & criticizing language when you explain yourself.

4. Remember you are on the same team, 

Forgiveness can be a win-win situation. Stay out of the trap of being at odds w/ your spouse/friend/acquaintance

5. Accept an apology when its offered.

You may need some time to internalize it, s don’t pressure yourself into acting like you are over it before you are. Forgive, but ask for some time to process our feelings if you need it.

6. Don’t dig up buried offences. 

Nothing prevents healing like bringing up old wounds and remind your spouse/friend/acquaintance that you have not forgotten certain things. A good forgiver leave the past in the past.

7. Consider extending your own olive branch.

Even if you’re still feeling the sting to their offence, doing something nice for your spouse/friend/acquaintance can bridge the chasm between you just enough to help them know they are forgiven.

A, x (1)

29 thoughts on “Ways To Become A Better Forgiver

  1. It can be so tough to forgive sometimes. I see I am not the only one to struggle with number six. It is often my biggest obstacle in achieving forgiveness and I know I need to work on it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It really can – forgiveness is one of the HARDEST things for me. (I still hold grudges from YEARS ago!) #6 is probably my biggest one! I am always bringing up past things, quick to put someone else down for something they have done in the past (especially my partner) I know for a fact I need to work on this.

      Like

  2. N umber 6 is one I should work on, but in this season of my life I am trying to let go completely-of a 40 year nightmare that revolved around my narcissist, psychopath of a sister. I let her back in again and again. It was only in looking back that I realized she is dangerous, and I am having a very hard time forgiving her. She kept my beloved nieces and nephew from me for years, as punishment for getting sober. She contorted my relationship with my brother, who was my best friend until she got her ugly talons into him. Yes, I am having trouble forgiving her indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That does sound like a very hard task forgiving someone that has burnt you badly in the past. Forgiveness defines you, not others. By all means, you don’t need to FORGET what has happened bc you’ll remember that as you are scarred – but forgiving lifts a burden from your shoulders & encourages you to live a more care-free life. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Couldn’t of said it better myself 😘 That is exactly right when we hold grudges we are the ones who suffer & we are the ones that carry the burden on our shoulders. When we forgive, the other doesn’t win but we do – for we live a more lightweighted lifestyle & don’t have anything weighing us down.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Not sure why my other one deleted, but let me see if i can remember it-

    Compared to your post earlier about self affirmations this one is much easier for me. I’m not one to stay angry, or hold a grudge. Forgiveness is easy for me, except for myself. I’m not good at that 😉

    Let’s hope this one posts and stays

    Liked by 1 person

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